The Seven Unspoken Rules of Dating (that should probably be spoken)

It's pretty self explanatory, really. Dating can be a nightmare. What to wear, how to do your hair, where to go, and is that shade of lipstick too Dita? Is there even such a thing as being TOO Dita? So here are a few rules we think everyone, male or female, should know about the dating world.

1. Be honest

Ok, so maybe not, "Oh my lord, boy, what in the name of monkeys on motorbikes made you think wearing THAT shirt with THOSE jeans was a good idea?" territory. But there's no point trying to be someone you're not on the first date. Wear what you want, order the food you want, just be yourself. And don't cover lies with more lies - it's no way to start a serious relationship. Be honest about you, your plans for the future, your interests and hobbies. If they don't align with your date's ideal future plans, it's better to know from the off than having to make a really hard decision later.

2. Relax

Hey, self-absorbedeo. You're so busy thinking about what you want, and what colour your bridesmaid dresses will be and what you're going to name your first child you haven't even stopped to think about the other person. Sure, determine whether your plans are compatible, as above, (no one wants to have the we're-not-having-kids yes-we-are conversation once you've swapped house keys) but leave all the gory details to a few years down the line. Plus, it's a bit creepy to plan someone else's life for them.

3. Leave the past in the past

Ladies, he doesn't want to know about how much of a Scumbag Steve your ex was. In the same vein, guys, we don't care how into your ex girlfriend you were. And do not, whatever you do, say she was pretty. Don't even hint at it. I cannot stress this enough. As far as the world is concerned, she's fat and had terrible spots, and her dress sense was shocking. If the topic of exes comes up - and let's be honest, it really should do - be subtle, reassure your date you're not living in the past and although you had fun and it was at times special, that part of your life is over, for a very good reason.

4. Ditch the movies

What are you, fourteen? If yes, fine, sit in silence next to someone while wondering whether to make a move, and by move I mean doing that classing/cheesy yawn-I'll-just-rest-my-hand-here-oh-was-that-your-boob move. If dinner isn't your thing, meet up for a coffee, go for a stroll around the park, try a museum or Secret Nuclear Bunker. You know, something where you can interact and find out whether the person you're dating is someone you want to be dating.

5. Stealth stalk

It's pretty obvious we know we're all stalking each other. But whatever you do, and only unless you want to be seen as the crazy one, don't bring up the bounties of your stalking sessions.
"Hey John, lovely to meet you! I saw you really like diving!"
"Yeah Sally, er, how did you know that?"
"Oh, I just flicked back to your 2004 Egypt holiday... that girl you were with was so cute! were you dating her?'
[awkward silence ensues]
[staring intensifies]

6. Put the phone away

If you're on a date, ditch your phone. Because you know what? If those work emails REALLY can't wait, or speaking to your best friend REALLY deserves interrupting your potential long-term partner, then you shouldn't be dating. It's a sad indictment of how life is in the UK, that very often we're lost without a phone and everything needs to be Instagrammed, blogged about, or live-tweeted-  but this is one time, along with funerals, that phones should be turned off and left to rest peacefully in the bottom of your bag.

7. If it's not going to work, it's not going to work

It'll be pretty obvious after the first date if it's not going to work. Hey, with 5 billion people on the planet, we're not all going to get along. if you really didn't feel the spark, and if the butterflies wee happily tucked away leaving your belly flutter-less, then it's best to just say you didn't feel a spark and leave it at that. If you feel your date was more into you than you were them, it's probably good to hit the nail on the head and not meet again. There's nothing worse than someone you REALLY fancy inviting you out for friendly drinks if the feeling's unrequited.

So these are our seven dating tips. What rules would you say are necessary for the best first date impression? Leave a comment below and let us know!