Australia Day and four reasons why it (Ayers) rocks

Ah Australia. Once the land we sent all our undesirable scum and low-down criminals to, it's now a place most of us Brits can only dream about calling home.

With gorgeous weather, crystal clear beaches fringed with whiter than white sand, some of the most amazing reefs in the world, hot tanned surfers, and all manner of insects that will paralyse and eat you alive while you have a morning wee, you can't help but think those exiles got an awesome deal out of it (aside from the potential death at every corner, of course). For example, their Whitehaven (pictured) is slightly better than ours.

So what better way to celebrate our long-lost cousins than on Australia Day, this 26th January. The day which marks the arrival of Captain Arthur Phillip and the First Fleet in 1788. Let's take a moment to reflect on some of Australia's awesomeness.

1. Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

WHAT'S THAT SKIP? A BOY'S TRAPPED IN AN OLD MINESHAFT AND IS BEING HUNTED BY DINGOES? AND THERE'S A BUSH FIRE CLOSING IN? AND POACHERS HAVE THEIR GUNS READY TO SHOOT? Skippy, Skippy, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo was one of the best programmes around. Made in the 60s, it entertained families with its good, clean, mildly perilous adventures. If you're too young to remember, you need to youtube and get on that. Skippy, the lady 'roo was eponymous hero, helping a ranger and his son keep a nature reserve safe from all manner of tragedies. In real life kangaroos are devious selfish animals that would sooner rip your face off than help one iota if you were in any form of mild danger, but that's neither here nor there.

2. Soaps

Australia made soaps. Ok, so I haven't watched Neighbours for about ten years now. But when I did, and when I loved it so much I bought the board game, it had it all: a fresh-faced hotpants-free Kylie, Karl Kennedy and his affair, Steph, Drew and Libby's love triangle, Harold Bishop dying and then returning mysteriously with amnesia, Holly Valance, Delta Goodrem, BOUNCER'S DREAM SEQUENCE... the list really does go on. There's no way Corrie can keep up with those gorgeous tanned specimens of humans. Roy Cropper holding a surfboard in Speedos? No. Thank. You.


3. Booze

Yeah, you can get wine from everywhere. Even Macedonia. But The UK actually imports more Aussie wine than from France, which when you think about distances - one a short jaunt on a boat, the other a hellish journey full of jetlag - is pretty amazing. Hardys is the number one selling bottle over here (one I'm VERY familiar with and is a key component of a steak dinner), and considering most vines in Europe were destroyed because of disease Aussie vineyards have some of the oldest grapes going. But, most importantly, the Australians invented the box o' wine. Because nothing says casual dining than pouring a fine vintage from a crate. Honestly.

4. The Crocodile Hunter

RIP Steve Irwin. I don't remember where I was when I heard Princess Di died. I don't know where I was when I heard Nelson Mandela died. But I remember the day it was reported everyone's favourite animal botherer, Steve, had died. It was tragic, and a huge loss to the world. His programmes instilled a love of animals in me and my fellow schoolfriends. Even better, his voice and mannerisms were ripe for parody - he was the subject of Nocturnal Secondary School, a video created for media studies which saw us students study our teacher's lives after-hours (that sounds dodgy as hell). He left his legacy with his wife Terri, daughter Bindi, the Irwin Turtle, and the Crikey steveirwini a scientifically recognised species of snail. But it ain't the same. You're alright, mate.

So this Australia day, I'll raise a glass of red, throw a shrimp on the barbie (lol jk it's probs going to snow) and dream about sitting on gorgeous beaches being fanned by an emu while a hot server guy brings me Tim Tams. Australia, you rock.