The six out of ten ChoClass Calculator. Where do you belong?

Following the introduction of the new class system to Britain, we decided it was time to shake up our own process. Traditional British social divisions related to what chocolate bar one will choose at the local newsagents are so out of date. So, six out of ten teamed up with…well, our local newsagent (‘teamed up with’ being more a case of ‘went and bought chocolate bars from’) to analyse the wonderfully smooth, sweet, delicious stuff.

I’ve gotta say. It wasn’t easy.

We surveyed more than 161,000 chocolate bars and came up with a new model made up of seven distinct groups. Let’s see where you fit in. (Note: you may find that due to my distaste for coconut, this might be slightly biased.)

Cadbury’s Dairy Milk
This is the most privileged chocolate in all of Great Britain, as it has high levels of both fine cocoa and delicious milk – one and a half cups, I do believe. Positions of our gentry that consume this fine bar do so because their high amount of economic capital sets them apart from everybody else. That, and it’s just the best.

Galaxy Caramel
Members of this group are a gregarious and culturally engaged class (who probably have an immensely sweeter sweet tooth than the above, and are solid in their belief that Galaxy Caramel rocks everyone’s socks).

Galaxy
Though technically similar to the second class of choccy bar, this is a small class with high levels of nom-ability; however, they seem less ‘culturally engaged’ – because they foolishly forgot to chuck some caramel in, as above. They have comparatively less social contacts (because Caramel stole their thunder) and so are marginally less engaged with society.

Kit Kat
This class has medium levels of tastiness and higher levels of cultural and social capital (note: variety, ‘Chunky’ upgrade, competitions for new flavours practically every week). They are a young and active group – coming in multiples of four so those who purchase then get their value for money, or share. Want a bit?

Maltesers
This class has low chocolate-to-honeycomb ratio, but has high levels of emerging ‘why can’t I stop eating these’ capital, and a high social status – because who doesn’t offer a bag of Maltesers to their friends? (Though, them bunnies are all mine.) This group is young, and members are often found in many a hand all over the country.

Mars
This class scores surprisingly high on all three counts – moreish, carameltastic and covered in a delectable chocolate – but they’re just so common, aren’t they? The average age of this class is older than the others; these badboys have been around for yonks.

Bounty
No one likes a Bounty.

Which class do you belong to? Are you a member of the Dairah Milk Gentry, or a rough and ready Mars bar geez? And is there anyone out there who loves a bit of coconut? Tell us below or at @sixoutoftenmag