Mirror, mirror on the wall, why do you make me look bad?

It's strange isn't it. How one day we can wake up, slap on a thin layer of tinted moisturiser, pull on a summer dress and flip flops and face the world head on, feeling as gorgeous as a supermodel. Other days, however, it can take all the contents of a make up bag, the most fitted dress and highest of heels and we still feel as fat/dull/ugly as a duckling. Why is this? And just how to we begin to feel as great as we actually look?

I started to wonder. When we look in the mirror, do we really see what's in front of us, or do we tend to focus on that annoying muffin top, or wobbly bum? In the interest of research, I asked three bloggers to send a photo of themselves, and a drawing of what they thought they look like to psychologist and fashion stylist, Kate of Kate Nightingale. With her keen eye, she looked at their drawings to see if their outlook matched reality. The answers were interesting.

Just a note: Obviously, this is only a rough guide. While Kate has extensive experience and is qualified to speak on body confidence and the psychological issues behind those bad days, she has never met the girls below. Her deductions are based purely on the self-sketches of the ladies and therefore can’t be treated as detailed analysis of their self-esteem and body image.

Jodie, of Be a Goddess

Kate says: "Jodie seems to be exaggerating the size of her breasts, the width of her shoulders and the thickness of her arms. Her head and ankles are also proportionally bigger than in reality. That pattern of self-view indicates that strength and confidence in herself is important for her. Big shoulders are usually the sign of strength. She also holds her head high in the picture. I suspect that she is not so confident in real life. A self-view accentuating physical domination is quite possibly a way of compensating the not so high self-esteem level. So actually this slight distortion of reality might be allowing Jodie to stay strong."

Katrina of Carousel Diary

Kate says: "Katrina’s sketch of herself shows that she sees her hips and belly bigger than they are in reality. Her breasts are also smaller in the sketch as well as are her arms. Her legs seem to be wider too. Again, I don’t know anything about Katrina, but I suspect she doesn’t feel too attractive in her body which is quite possibly reflected in her romantic life. Where do I deduct it from? Breasts are a sign of sensuality and are one of the most important body features used by men to indicate sexual attractiveness. Katrina has downsized her breasts which in turn make me suspect that she doesn’t feel sexually attractive. The reality is quite the opposite as Katrina’s body shape is a classic, sexually attractive body shape."

Sophie of onetenzeroseven

Kate says: "Sophie’s sketch is actually quite realistic but it’s interesting that she hasn’t painted her face nor the bottom part of her legs.I can only suspect that she might not like her face or even feel faceless, invisible. Not painting her legs might also indicate that she doesn’t feel whole like something is missing; some important part of herself."

Kate has this to say about the way we feel we look: "The sketches show that people tend to see themselves slightly different than they are in reality. The differences are usually due to dislike or lack of acceptance of certain parts of their bodies as well as their psychological history, including upbringing and traumatic experiences. Each of us will have some distortion of reality in their self-view; some of them will be helpful and some of them not. However, it’s important to accept the real image of your body as the first step to change."

So. For all of us who would love longer legs, smoother skin or a svelte figure. Has it ever happened to you? Where you create detailed meal plans, diet regimes or spend hours and hours at the gym, pool or treadmill yet fail to lose weight where you want to? "If you’d like to go on a diet to lose a few extra inches from around your hips," Kate says, "you'll find it harder if you won’t accept that these extra inches are there, and even start to love them a bit. Acceptance and love of your real body can help you go through the diet and exercise more smoothly. Why? As instead of getting rid of unwanted inches, you think of it as improving your body. Positive motivation is usually healthier for your general self-esteem.

So what are Kate's tips to getting in shape? It starts with being positive about your body, even those bits we want to change. "Before you find the next diet or sign up to yet another personal training programme," she says, "start working on your attitude to your own body. Whenever you think anything negative about yourself, immediately change it to positive and repeat that positive statement at least three times. You can even write down all the negative beliefs you have about your body and change them into positive. Hanging these positive statements on your mirror or wardrobe and reading them at least once in the morning will additionally strengthen the focus on positive view of yourself."

What do you think? Is your self-perception accurate, or do you think you need to change the way you see yourself? Let us know in the comments or give us a tweet at @sixoutoftenmag.