Detoxing without losing weight - a seven day crash course in juice, rice and fish

It's a well-known fact in my social circles that I can get away with eating junk food and not put on weight. After a Tesco spesh mac and cheese ready meal for lunch at work, a 36-pack of Jaffa Cakes would be wolfed down (earning me the eponymous nickname Nibbler) with a cup of tea followed by Kinder Bueno, salt and vinegar Chipsticks and a pack of Dolly Mix. You think I'm joking? How wrong you are.

It seems like a gift. To be able to eat whatever the hell you like without putting on masses of weight. What woman hasn't dreamt of devouring a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food in one night (a regular Thursday occurrence when I lived at home)? After all, in all my twenty-seven years on this planet, I've only ever been a size 6-8. But while this gift can come in handy, it's actually quite annoying.

Firstly, I look like a greedy pig. Scoffing mounds of processed foods is enough to turn anyone off.

Secondly, I can't tell the damage it's doing to my body. I only really feel bloated after drinking milk, but apart from that and general sluggishness around 3pm, I feel ok. And because I only feel 'ok' I know those processed ingredients and sat fats can't be doing me any good.

Thirdly, while I'm slim, I have cellulite. Normal of course, but I'm pretty sure laying off the bad stuff will get me looking more toned.

As I have a holiday coming up in exactly one month, my plan is to get fit and healthy. How? With exercise and cutting out the crap. So I'm detoxing, not to lose weight, but to feel better.

So. Apparently, for an instant upgrade there are four habits to break and four habits to make. So, let’s start with the hard part.

Four habits to break:

1. Wheat. All wheat contains gluten and this irritates the gut. So, give your insides a week’s break. No bread. No wraps. No hot buttery toast.

2. Milk. It’s the most common food allergen and most people produce antibodies to it. In other words, it causes your immune system to react. Give your system a week off milk and all dairy products.

3. Caffeine. This might be the hardest part if you’re addicted. But that’s the point. Caffeine is an addictive toxin that makes your liver work hard to detoxify it. If you can bear it, cut out caffeine for one week. If not, then two cups of green tea a day is the thin edge of the wedge.

4. Alcohol. Of course, this is your liver’s worst enemy. Take a break for a week.

Four habits to make:

1. Drink eight glasses of water a day. After all, your body is 66% water and this alone will help you detoxify.

2. Eat superfoods to spring-clean your system. So that's fresh apricots, cantaloupe, citrus fruits, kiwi, papayas, peaches, mangoes, melons, red grapes and all types of berries. Vegetables that are especially good for detoxification include artichokes, peppers, beets, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, red cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, cucumber, kale, pumpkin, spinach, sweet potato, tomato, watercress, and bean and seed sprouts.

3. Load up on anti-aging antioxidants. They are the key players in detoxifying your body. If you boost your intake, from both food and supplements, you’ll definitely notice the difference.

4. Take liver-detoxifying supplements. Look for a supplement that contains: N-Acetyl Cysteine, Milk Thistle Extract, Cruciferous Vegetable Compounds, MSM, Ellagic Acid, Dandelion Extract and Alpha Lipoic Acid.

With these habits in place, I'll soon notice a difference, feeling more energised and motivated with clearer skin. Today is day one. I've had two glasses of warm lemon water, a jacket potato with beans (no butter. No cheese. No taste) and for dinner I'll be having spicy pork and rice followed by some bland popcorn. With no money or inclination to start juicing anything, we'll have to see how this week pans out.