HERE'S HOW TO... stop being afraid of failure

"But what if I fail?"

What if. The worst of all questions. What if that idea for your dream business is actually a bit rubbish? What if he says no? What if it goes wrong? What if eating three tubs of Ben & Jerry's is a bad idea? What if doesn't tell you anything you didn't know already. It's a question that has no answer. Even if you believe in something like fate or destiny, there's no way of knowing what the future - or the consequences of your actions - holds.

No one wants to fail. There's no easy way to put this, so I'll say it: You Will Fail.

There will come a point in your life when you plan all your plans, and despite those plans being as rock solid as they can be, you will fail. You won't land that dream job. Your business will go though tough times. You will be rejected. You will throw up after consuming far more dairy then is medically advised.

You will.

But there are three reasons why failure isn't a bad thing:

You live and learn.

Boy, don't we all. Whether it's a terrible haircut that leaves you feeling so self concious you decide hats are the only way out, or making a terrible decision that haunts you for years down the line, the best thing to do is to analyse why you made that decision that's caused you to fall. Was it being too impulsive? Not planning enough? Having your heart set on something uncertain? Whatever the reason for your failure, finding out what may have contributed to it will stop you making the same decision so easily again.

You get to fix the problem.

Instead of giving up and rolling over in defeat, see what the flaw in the plan was. Where the weakness lies. If it's in a relationship, perhaps see what areas you discovered are absolute want and musts for your next one. If it's losing a job, see what areas you need training for, and try and get more experience. Learn from the weak spot. Failure means you can see it, patch it up, and resume getting on with your life.

You gain respect.

A lot of people are happy to just meander through life, working for someone else, living in a comfortable setting, just letting things be. In a study conducted by the University of Melbourne, it was revealed people who were content to let life lead them were £82,000 worse off over a four year period than those who took charge of their own destiny. So, you tried. It didn't work out. But you know you took a risk, which is way more than can be said of most people.

I'll throw in a bonus fourth. How boring would life be if you let fear dictate everything you did? Can you imagine never again doing the things you want to, because of some irrational fear it might not go to plan?

So how can you stop being afraid?

Know that in your lifetime, you'll fail many times. Some failures will be trivial, some may be massive. But knowing this, having a realistic attitude, will soften the blow.
Know that if something doesn't work out, you'll learn everything you need to stop it happening again.
Know that you can't control everything. And trying to will only leave you with more grey hairs than you can count, and a hairdresser's bill to rival Cheryl Cole's.
Know that it'll be over soon. Sure you may be left red-faced. But in ten years time, it'll seem so insignificant.
Know that failure is just a thought. You can control it.

Have you ever let a feat or failure stop you from doing something you desperately wanted to try? Or have you failed spectacularly, only to learn from it and make your life better? Share you stories below!

Interested? Read on...

The Seven Unspoken Rules of Dating (that should probably be spoken)

It's pretty self explanatory, really. Dating can be a nightmare. What to wear, how to do your hair, where to go, and is that shade of lipstick too Dita? Is there even such a thing as being TOO Dita? So here are a few rules we think everyone, male or female, should know about the dating world.

1. Be honest

Ok, so maybe not, "Oh my lord, boy, what in the name of monkeys on motorbikes made you think wearing THAT shirt with THOSE jeans was a good idea?" territory. But there's no point trying to be someone you're not on the first date. Wear what you want, order the food you want, just be yourself. And don't cover lies with more lies - it's no way to start a serious relationship. Be honest about you, your plans for the future, your interests and hobbies. If they don't align with your date's ideal future plans, it's better to know from the off than having to make a really hard decision later.

2. Relax

Hey, self-absorbedeo. You're so busy thinking about what you want, and what colour your bridesmaid dresses will be and what you're going to name your first child you haven't even stopped to think about the other person. Sure, determine whether your plans are compatible, as above, (no one wants to have the we're-not-having-kids yes-we-are conversation once you've swapped house keys) but leave all the gory details to a few years down the line. Plus, it's a bit creepy to plan someone else's life for them.

3. Leave the past in the past

Ladies, he doesn't want to know about how much of a Scumbag Steve your ex was. In the same vein, guys, we don't care how into your ex girlfriend you were. And do not, whatever you do, say she was pretty. Don't even hint at it. I cannot stress this enough. As far as the world is concerned, she's fat and had terrible spots, and her dress sense was shocking. If the topic of exes comes up - and let's be honest, it really should do - be subtle, reassure your date you're not living in the past and although you had fun and it was at times special, that part of your life is over, for a very good reason.

4. Ditch the movies

What are you, fourteen? If yes, fine, sit in silence next to someone while wondering whether to make a move, and by move I mean doing that classing/cheesy yawn-I'll-just-rest-my-hand-here-oh-was-that-your-boob move. If dinner isn't your thing, meet up for a coffee, go for a stroll around the park, try a museum or Secret Nuclear Bunker. You know, something where you can interact and find out whether the person you're dating is someone you want to be dating.

5. Stealth stalk

It's pretty obvious we know we're all stalking each other. But whatever you do, and only unless you want to be seen as the crazy one, don't bring up the bounties of your stalking sessions.
"Hey John, lovely to meet you! I saw you really like diving!"
"Yeah Sally, er, how did you know that?"
"Oh, I just flicked back to your 2004 Egypt holiday... that girl you were with was so cute! were you dating her?'
[awkward silence ensues]
[staring intensifies]

6. Put the phone away

If you're on a date, ditch your phone. Because you know what? If those work emails REALLY can't wait, or speaking to your best friend REALLY deserves interrupting your potential long-term partner, then you shouldn't be dating. It's a sad indictment of how life is in the UK, that very often we're lost without a phone and everything needs to be Instagrammed, blogged about, or live-tweeted-  but this is one time, along with funerals, that phones should be turned off and left to rest peacefully in the bottom of your bag.

7. If it's not going to work, it's not going to work

It'll be pretty obvious after the first date if it's not going to work. Hey, with 5 billion people on the planet, we're not all going to get along. if you really didn't feel the spark, and if the butterflies wee happily tucked away leaving your belly flutter-less, then it's best to just say you didn't feel a spark and leave it at that. If you feel your date was more into you than you were them, it's probably good to hit the nail on the head and not meet again. There's nothing worse than someone you REALLY fancy inviting you out for friendly drinks if the feeling's unrequited.

So these are our seven dating tips. What rules would you say are necessary for the best first date impression? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Interested? Read on...

HERE'S HOW TO... choose the right bar for your night out

We've all been there. We decide on a night out, and after the week just gone, it needs to be a BLAST. I'm talking decent cocktails, great conversation, a double Berocca at night with the promise of never drinking again in the morning. But where to go? An over-priced popular watering hole you know will be rammed to the rafters serving the same old same old, or taking a punt on a new venue that could very possibly leave you out of pocket and out of fun, but could also be the best decision you've ever made?

We asked Nick Telson, co-founder of bar review website DesignMyNight, to give his tops tips for having a great night out in a brand new venue... (I don't fully understand the message behind the below image, but I think it's awesome.)

1. Look for hidden gems

Many people think the best bars are found in the most central locations BUT I would suggest going off the beaten track and looking slightly off the radar for a venue. Hidden secret bars, usually the ones hard to find, are the places you will have the most fun in. They usually have a quirky interior with a drinks menu that will test your taste buds and an eclectic mix of people that are all there to have a great time.

2. Try a themed bar, but only if they're going all the way

My preference on a great venue is how original it is, from its decor to the drinks menu, it’s always good to experience something a bit different. It’s good to see cocktail menu’s changing with the seasons so keep an eye out for this. If a venue is themed...make sure they follow through with this or you might be slightly disappointed. A great example of a venue that lives up to it’s themed expectations is The Liars Club in Manchester offering tiki cocktails and tropical theme from the get-go.

3. Even if you're not into local brews, drink where the locals drink

For me the drinks on offer are a big part of the night. I like to look for bars that stock local beers and not the just the standard international beers and ales. More localised brews bring in the locals and I feel this ensures the venue can be trusted and has a good reputation for a great night out.

4. Test out their beer garden or open space

A big perk of the weather getting nicer is that we can sit outside while having a beer and chatting to friends. Even at night, a well lit up beer garden is home to some of the best chats I’ve had on a night out as we can actually hear each other and enjoy the spring evenings. The Plough in Birmingham is a great haunt for a good beer garden. I like to look for heated beer gardens or rooftop bars as the atmosphere and views from these are usually electric as the good weather looms.

5. Don't settle for an upper class bar serving below par booze

Personally, I am all about value for money...paying a high price is justified if the drinks merit it but not because the venue itself is in an expensive area. Check the price list so your night doesn’t have to be cut short as your wallet is bled dry. There are all types of venues suiting different budgets so a little bit of research here can go a long way.

Do you have a favourite bar you rely on for a good night out? Or are you one who prefers to try anything and everything on offer? Let us know below!

Interested? Read on...

Wanderlust and making mum proud

When you're growing up, all you want to do is make your parents proud. You take the classes they want you to take, you do the chores to earn your keep, you go to university and get the job they've always wanted for you. That's how it's supposed to go, right? But what about when you don't do the things the way they were planned for you, how do you measure the pride then?

As a kid, I played the team sports as requested even though I sucked at them. I took the classes they wanted, and worked hard at school. I helped out and earned my keep too; at home and in the real world - part time on the minimum wage so I could buy my own dolls and books and... whatever teenagers bought back then (probably not dolls or books, if I'm honest). As hard as I worked at school, eventually, it wasn't for me anymore. I was doing it for someone else, and I was resentful of that. I didn't want to be wasting my time studying towards a life that I realised I hadn't chosen anymore; all I really wanted to do was work and earn the money I needed to do the one thing I really wanted to do... see the world.



I left home at 21. Not just, like, down the road - I moved out out. From medium-sized-town Australia to teeny-tiny-town New Zealand, into a en suite room in my cousin's flat just outside Wellington. I literally finished work on the Friday in Adelaide, and started up again on the Monday in Lower Hutt. I wasn't even scared about the move, I was too excited. What I remember most about leaving Adelaide though, is seeing my Mum cry. Before that day, I'd only ever seen her cry once before - when she'd accidentally left the grill on all day and blew up our kitchen. That day in the ashy remains of our beloved kitchen, and then the day at the airport, were the only times I ever remember seeing her cry.

Back then, I interpreted those tears as disappointment; I thought I'd failed her.

Now that I live on the other side of the world, I talk to my mum more than ever. We have a regular-as-clockwork Sunday-morning Viber date. I update my blog with the most inane of things, just so she knows that I'm eating and bathing and earning all of the money (note: I don't earn all of the money). We email. We text. We communicate more now than when I lived under the same roof as her. Although the physical distance is further now, it's brought us closer together emotionally. And you know what else? I've given her a reason to travel more. In the three years I've lived in London, she's currently packing for her second three-month-long stay with me. For a woman of a certain age, on a working class income, in a job that owes her a hundred years of long-service leave, she's certainly now milking the fact I live abroad... and I'm told it provides her plenty of the "my child is better than your child" fodder that we all know goes on when our parents have too much wine-of-the-boxed-variety (goon: Google it).

So, maybe I don't have the degree, or white picket fence, or 3.4 children and power husband to boot. I also don't have barrels of debt or an irregular sleeping pattern, which I'm pretty pleased about, just quietly. Instead, what I do have is a chance to offer my Mum something she'd only ever dreamed of having before; unlimited access to the world*.

She's English by birth, you see. Emigrated to New Zealand at four. Married my Dad and moved to Australia in her twenties. After that, it was backyard breaks and family holidays to New Zealand for her until her mid-life-crisis took us to The Disney Lands during my late teens. In all that time, she'd not once considered visiting the Motherland before I made the epic journey myself (this may or may not have something to do with the free accommodation I now provide her with) - but in the last two years has seen more of the UK that most of the UK ever have.

Why? She's been bitten by the bug that bit me all those years ago; she's finally got a case of...

Wanderlust.

And recently, after one of our bog standard weekly chats, I had an email from her drop into my inbox that changed my world; in it, amongst a recipe for tuna mornay, some grainy pictures of nieces I've never met, and an update on my Dad's 65th birthday platters (he wanted KFC, she convinced him to go with antipasti), were those four little words I had been angling for since I first boarded that plane as a 21 year old 'runaway'. It was in that email that I knew I had underestimated her tears at the airport all those years ago. Now, nigh on ten years, thirteen flats, and three countries later, I know I was wrong about my Mum; she was never disappointed in me. She was proud of me.

Well, you know what?

I'm proud of you too, Mum.

*unlimited access to world is for a limited time only.

Interested? Read on...

What's wrong with being bossy, Beyonce?

WARNING: Those not a fan of swearing, sarcasm and the word bossy, please look away now. This is the only time I'll say you can skip a post, btw.

adjective: bossy; comparative adjective: bossier; superlative adjective: bossiest

1.

 fond of giving people orders; domineering.

"don't be so bossy!"

synonyms:

domineering, dominating, overbearing, imperious, masterful, autocratic, autarchic, officious, high-handed, high and mighty, authoritarian, dictatorial, strict, harsh, severe, iron-handed, controlling, despotic, tyrannical, draconian, oppressive, subjugating, undemocratic, anti-democratic;

With Victoria Beckham and numerous other celebrities all saying Bossy should be banned, are we in danger of guilting strong-willed women into making them feel ashamed of being authoritative leaders? Is banning a word really the answer, or should we be doing more with young girls to help them feel secure, no matter whether they love being in control or following direction from others? Surely more women who know what they want and how to lead a team is only ever going to be a good thing? 

We asked Erica, our self-proclaimed strong-willed writer, to give her opinion on the Bossy dilemma.

Queen Bey says "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss." I say, "What's the difference?" and also "What the hell is wrong with being bossy?" and more importantly, "Well I am a boss bitch, Bey, so you just calm your tits now."

Seriously, I am a bit of a bitch; I don't have a censor between brain and mouth, and I say what I think. Some call it 'being honest,' some call it 'a mean streak,' but you know what? Just don't. Because I am 'being a bossy cow.'

And you want to know something else? Those words don't define me, offend me or undermine me - if anything, instead they empower me, so puuuhhlleeeaase don't stop calling me that now.

Some really popular-on-the-Internet women want to ban the word 'bossy' from being used to describe other women, because of the damaging long-term affect the word has when... what? It's taken the wrong way? When it causes offence? I can kindasortamaybeatastretch see where they're coming from, but I've personally never taken offence to the word 'bossy'. Because, and this may come as a surprise to no-one reading this, I've always been called bossy, and it's sure as shit not bothered me none.

If anything, being called bossy from an early age has encouraged me to become a strong, independent women; one who does not censor herself for anyone, nor give two fucks about what other people think of her.

Ohhh, it's a gender bias thing! The powerful men are being called Leaders, and yet the powerful women are branded as Bossy! Now I get it; it's a feminism thing! That old chestnut. No. It's not. It's really not you guys. Cos... I know plenty of dudes who are more bitchy than me, I swear. It's not a gender thing, because I 100% guarantee that you call your guy-boss bossy and he will be just as un-offended than if you call your fierce lady-boss bossy. Either of them will probably love the fact that you've used up your precious emotion to describe them, because that totally means you're a wimp, but they will not be offended.

I've been in leadership roles before - albeit ones that involved the management and care of some of life's real underachievers, but in a leadership role nonetheless. Ergo, I was The Boss. To fulfil the requirements of being The Boss, I had to employ a certain level of bossiness. I mean, the meek shall inherent the earth and whatnot, but they wouldn't last a day in fashion retail management, that's for damn sure. These jobs have always needed someone in them who possessed a certain level of 'I don't give a fuck what you think, just do what I said" and luckily for me, my levels are exceptionally high.

I'm proud of that fact, because I earned that confidence.

I own bossy.

Ohhh, we're talking about the self-esteem of young girls, not just me and my loud mouth! Well, in that case, there are about a gazillion more important problems that need to be addressed before worrying about the words we're using to describe strong women. How about promoting body confidence at a younger age by restricting their exposure to 99% of the popular media available to them, or introducing a balanced diet of school lunches that doesn't consist of mostly-complex carbs and saturate fats, or educating young girls on some of the awesome, powerful jobs they can have if they want them.

Let's maybe address some actual, national problems like obesity or unemployment or why my internet drops out all the fucking time, and not how to avoid offending Beyonce next time you accidentally call her bossy.

It really is hard out here for a bitch. Oh hey, except when it's not.

Interested? Read on...

The top five hidden gem bars in Glasgow

Having never been north of Cumbria (which is *almost Scotland*) we were wondering what bars in Glasgow had to offer. So we asked Luke, of DesignMyNight, to come up with five bars in Glasgow that have a bit more to them than what meets the eye. From granny-chic-turned-cocktail-night to secret doorways, there's a bar for everyone in this Scottish city.

Luke says: "Glasgow has a whole host of bustling bars, pretty pubs and care-free clubs, but with so many to choose from, planning a night out can become a nightmare in itself. But fear not, help is at hand! Check out our rundown of the best hidden nightlife nuggets Glasgow has to offer."

The Butterfly and the Pig


Love a bit of kitsch? Then this one’s for you. Don’t be fooled by the cake stands, floral prints and granny-chic décor though, The Butterfly and Pig doubles up as a tearoom and hot-as-you-like nightlife spot, too. Open mics, quiz nights, DJs and sumptuous cocktails are available at this little city-centre number. Never judge a book by its cover, eh? Even if it is covered in flowers…

Flat 0/1


If you’re on a budget but don’t want to compromise on quirk, Flat 0/1 is well worth a look in. Designed to emulate a student flat of the 1970’s, this house party-cum-bar boasts a wild selection of drinks, ranging from cherry Lambrini to bespoke cocktails. Though on the cheaper end of the Glasgow nightlife spectrum, Flat 0/1 certainly doesn’t disappoint when it comes to its events. Movie nights, live music and raucous parties are just a few of the things on the menu at this hidden gem on Bath Street.

Chinaski’s


Shhhh. Chinaski’s is a secret Glasgow bar hidden behind the façade of an otherwise unassuming entrance, boasting late night tipples, a wide selection of drinks, and an exclusively cool vibe. If you can find it, the venue itself is distinctively unique featuring candle-lit tables and an impressive hidden terrace out back. Head here for a cool experience and tasty drinks, you won’t regret it.

The Flying Duck

Fun, quirky and pretty damn special, The Flying Duck is a hidden bar in Glasgow city centre boasting a shabby-chic vibe, featuring board games, epic club nights and free toast. Sounds like a weird combo doesn’t it? We won’t lie to you, it is. But it works! Totally original, the bar has a relaxed ambience like no other, and is a great place to experience whilst enjoying a few of their signature (and well-priced!) drinks.

Cocktail and Burger


As if you need to hear any more than ‘Cocktail’ and ‘Burger’ in the same sentence to be interested. Yes, it’s exactly what you think: a bar boasting amazing burgers, and even better cocktails! Though a little classier than your average burger joint, the venue has a separate bar area bustling with people heading over for ‘just drinks’, making the most out of C&B’s bespoke and signature cocktails. Long live Cocktail and Burger!

Interested? Read on...

Review: 3 South Place Bar, Liverpool Street, London

When a friend got in touch with me to plan a night of drinks, gossip and catching up, she suggested we choose a bar near Liverpool Street Station to make things easier for everyone. The whole area is an area of two halves. As you come out of the station, on to Bishopsgate, you have the city, full of suits, bankers, glitzy restaurants and expense accounts to your right, and the urban gritty pull of Shoreditch's pop up venues, quirky bars and oh-so-many mustaches to the left. The contrast is clear, the buildings of Broadgate Tower, often seen in adverts and The Apprentice, are backed by arty hoardings and overgrown grass.

Figuring we'd hit Shoreditch later, we chose South Place Bar, just around the corner from where I used to work. I'd walked past it time after time, and the lure of cow skin seats and comfy chairs made it a perfect option for Tuesday night drinks. Why Tuesday? Let me explain.

While I was working as a copywriter for health and beauty website Wahanda, the site editor, Judy, along with Charlie, Ali and Mel, had deemed Tuesday as Bitch Tuesday. Monday we know is going to be bad. No one ever likes a Monday. Wednesday sees the weekend in sight, Thursday is unofficial party night, Friday is party night. But what does Tuesday bring? Nothing but woe.

So with a little table booked, and work finished for the day, I hopped on the cattle wagon to London. From the station, the bar and hotel are best accessed through either Sun Street passage by Boot's, past Pret and Starbucks, or through the shopping arcade, past the Krispy Kreme stand. It's literally about five minutes down the road, so no wonder it was full of Essex types drinking after a long day at work. And when I say full, I mean full.

We were greeted at the door, had our coats taken, and settled in the huge chairs. The server brought over our menus and a tin of popcorn to snack on, and we decided to start with a server's choice sharing platter, Clover Club and Mint Julep cocktails.

After a no-so-long wait the platter arrived and was squeezed onto the table. Called the Superbowl 3SP, there were mini mozzarella balls seasoned with herbs and salt, Pepper Jack chilli fries (very similar to sloppy joe chips) and pulled steak mini baps. It was a perfect amount for two, and absolutely needed.

The cocktails were gorgeous. The Clover Club was served in a 1920s glass, while the Mint Julep was stacked full of ice in a tin. The cocktails were expertly crafted and tasted delicious; mint was so fresh. The only issue was the coldness of the tin; the ice had cased a frosty condensation to form so at least it meant I sipped it slowly.

After a good chat, the platter was finished and we thought there was enough time for another round before we moved on.

One thing that intrigued us was the cocktail served in a balloon, the Route 66. We had to try it, just to see how it was served and also to discover what white cola actually was. Another really interesting addition to the menu was the Boston Tea Party, a warm cocktail, yes you read correctly - it's served warm. And in a vintage tea cup. And it has gin. AND chocolate.

Cocktails arrived soon after ordering and the tea was sipped and finished in super speed, it was just THAT moreish. It was a great end to the night. We were sat there for a good few hours, and couldn't believe how many people were chatting, meeting friends, going through the day's events with colleagues or just sipping solo. The huge fireplace was ablaze, and gave the huge space a cozy feel.

The only hitch to the night was a missing coat. The member of staff on the front desk couldn't help, but he managed to find our server and she went back to check. Fortunately it was found, and so we wrapped up warm ready to brave the cold outside.

If you're an Essex girl or boy looking for somewhere closer to home than Central London, it's definitely worth a peek through the windows and a cheeky tipple from a balloon at the very least.

3 South Place | South Place Hotel, 3 South Place, London EC2M 2AF | 020 3503 0000

Interested? Read on...

Pancake Day spesh: Polo Bar, Bishopsgate, London

I learnt how make them at a really early age; from a smash-and-grab recipe (smash into the pantry, grab what you can find) handed down through the generations - originally found in a New Zealand Woman's Weekly or an Edmonds Classic cook book, but read from a tattered and battered once-leather bound recipe book, handwritten in pencil but gone over in ink, scribbled out where the imperial measurements turned to metric, and corrections made in the columns as necessary. This was the one recipe I stored in my memory when I moved out of home, and it saw me through many a hangover, burnt dinner and everything in between. Those pancakes are my childhood. Those pancakes are my comfort.

Would I go as far as to say I am a pancake fiend? Yes. I suppose I would. So, when I heard that the folks over at Polo Bar on Bishopsgate reckoned that their pancakes were the ones to (b)eat this Pancake Day... well, I had to see for myself.






There was literally no need to Google the restaurant prior to arrival, because as soon as you get to the top of the elevators on the Bishopsgate side of Liverpool Street Station, it's... right there. Nestled between a 7/11 and a betting shop (I'm surmising)(it's pretty accurate though) is a big, bright window, and a tiny, narrow door. That's it. That's Polo Bar. That's the restaurant.

Upon entry you'd be forgiven for thinking you were in the wrong place. I certainly did. From the dude in chef's whites (assume he was the chef..? again, surmising) standing in the middle of the walkway, smiling at us, to the employee with his head popping out from under the innards of a coffee machine waving for us to take a seat - this didn't feel like the top notch restaurant glamour that we'd grown accustomed to when out roving for the mag. This felt more like 'twenty minutes to kill before the next 149 to London Bridge, wanna grab a coffee?'

With the menu boasting a range of all-day-breakfast as well as the standard burgers and fries, we pointlessly mulled over our choices before finally settling on... something that wasn't even on offer. There was only one thing I wanted, and the waitress was gracious enough to see to it that I got it. WHO DO I THINK I AM? With my order of pancakes with bacon and maple syrup (and almond slivers!) placed, and the prosecco in retro champagne glasses in hand, we enjoyed the quirky retro-modern decor and waited. Not for long though - in a matter of minutes, our food had arrived...






...and was devoured. We're told a standard serve comes with three pancakes, but ours came with four. Four smallish pancakes. Four smallish and pretty thin pancakes. I mean, I'd hate to say I was disappointed, but I was. With the amount of Americanised restaurants saturating the food scene in London, you can just about get a short stack on every street corner. So to hit up an all-day-breakfast bar specifically for pancakes, and not even have them served in a stack... WUT?

 Don't get me wrong; they tasted great. They were great tasting pancakes. Their presentation was just a little... un-pancakey for my liking.

With three large rashers of bacon and a side pot of maple syrup, plus the almond slivers and random powdered sugar, my pancakes were sweet and salty - just the way I like them. The thing I didn't like about them though, was how quickly they disappeared. I usually get owned by a short stack; I fill up on the thick and fluffy morsels, and just leave that one, tiny mouthful at the end that drives my boyfriend mad ("IT'S ONE MORE MOUTHFUL! JUST EAT IT!"). These though, were gone in under five minutes. They just didn't fill me up, at all.

They were nice. They weren't game changing. And they didn't stop us discussing whether or not it would be disgusting or not to follow pancakes up with a curry on Brick Lane. But, if you're around Liverpool Street this Pancake Day, and have 12 minutes and £5.50 spare before your next bus, consider Polo Bar. Have the maple and almond, and ask for bacon for a quid extra.

Alternatively, try and get your hands on an Edmonds cookbook from the 60s, and go at it yourself. At home. With wine.

By Erica, of www.imbeingerica.com

Polo Bar is open 24 hours a day, with an all-day alcohol licence too. Find it at 176 Bishopsgate, London EC2M 4NQ | 020 7283 4889

Interested? Read on...

Are you guilty of a 'some people' status?

Wow some people are just so rude joking or not
— AsianPrideeee (@ThatGirl_Naomi) February 26, 2014

Some people are so rude
— soph♡ (@soph_yee) February 26, 2014

some people are getting too big for their own boots..
— ZoeMiles (@ZoeMilesxx) February 26, 2014

Hate the fact that some people cant form their own ideas and then steal yours.
— IG: logancroeser (@LoganCroeser) February 26, 2014

why do some people complain about other people saying they love certain things like I'm sure you do it too so don't be a hypocrite
— liberty (@marveInarry) February 26, 2014

Clearly some people have no lives. I didn't know my life was that important. I am flattered!
— Mr. Padilla (@i_am_pizzle) February 26, 2014

I wonder why some people even bother texting me sometimes
— Matt (@Maatt_pickhaver) February 26, 2014

Some people need to stop being so full of themselves.
— Tiff. (@KatyPerry_69) February 26, 2014

Each one of these tweets has two words in common. And each one of these tweets is talking about someone. So specific they are, you could replace 'some people' with the intended recipient's name, jiggle around the syntax a bit, and it would make perfect sense.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram... they're all taking passive aggression to the next level. Where twenty years ago we'd have left things like this go, or maybe had a bit of a bitch and natter with a friend next time we saw them, or tutted in line when someone pushed in, social media gives us the opportunity to comment on any situation at any given moment.



And we've all done it. We've all been annoyed by someone, irked by their actions, or just wondered incredulously at their attitude. Rather than confront the person or SHOCK HORROR tag/name them, we critically half-describe the situation in order to vent, but leave out their name.

We asked psychotherapist, Alex Wedlock, to talk to us about the rise of 'some people', and why it's potentially damaging our mental heath and confrontational skills.

"A friend of mine refers to Facebook as 'Faceless'. It gives us a way to express ourselves vaguely and without perhaps addressing the real issue," Alex says. After all, it's far easier to write a few paragraphs and rant about something than to sit and consider why we're feeling that way. Are we offended? Jealous? Hurt? Angry? Who cares, right?! "Typing out a status is more passive than confronting the person who may have elicited the feeling within us in the first place and talking it through with the potential of resolution."

"The danger in the trend, I would say, could be that we don't actually reach any kind of conclusion or outcome, or even understanding, of what we are feeling. It's left unexplored and often poorly expressed on a social media page where it will be history within minutes!"



Alex goes on to describe how this passive aggressive behaviour tends to keep us in a persistent 'status quo'

"Someone preferring to rant on twitter will continue to be passive when required to make decisions, and will tend to leap into aggression when challenged in any way." The result is that we avoid conflict and maintain our 'default' position. Nothing changes, nothing is addressed. It may also lead to the beginning of a friendship ending.

Having been a writer of 'some people' tweets in the past, I know how it can feel. A person has wound you up. There's no one to talk about it instantly, and it seems far too trivial to bring up with the annoyer. So a quick few words jotted down almost helps the situation by allowing those feelings to get out in some way. But Alex worries that, although there is a temporary short time feeling of relief, avoiding the issue is only making the situation worse. Far better to confront and deal with someone else's flaws, than create one of our own.

So how should we react when we see someone being a bit pathetic with their cryptic, passive aggressive tweeting?

"We can either pay attention and engage with it," Alex says, "or assume it is vague because it's unimportant! This is where the concept of being in an 'adult' state comes in. If we apply an adult outlook to the world, we would not necessarily respond to a childlike comment from another adult, but rather, see it for what it is...a childlike expression of something which could better be dealt with in an 'adult' mode!"

So, the choice is yours. If you're tweeting 'some people' a bit too often, perhaps it's good to sit down and think about why you're avoiding actually addressing the issue, or why you have such a need to publicly show your childlike side.

Have you been guilty of passive aggressive tweeting? Or is a friend on Facebook a notorious 'some people' fiend? Let us know your thoughts below!

Interested? Read on...