"Get your arm swing just right when you’re walking and you occasionally touch a bit of minge by “mistake”, they love it." #BANTS

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of celebrity. Less so of social media celebrity. I don't care about Zoella, the Londoner, whoever. They don't really have anything to do with my life or my industry, and while I find them annoying when they're thrust in front of my screen intrusively (can Rosie write? Technically yes, she can work a keyboard and write words. Is Zoella shrill and annoying? Not to 13-year-old fangirls), they get on with their life, and I do mine.

Except, there's a problem. If you're a twitter fiend you may have heard of Dapper Laughs. A guy who's famous for, well, I literally have no idea. Having a few social media accounts is the only thing I can come up with.

Up until about a week ago, I was totally oblivious to him or the fact he even existed. I ignored the hashtags that showed up on my journo twitter account until the RTs got too much and I had a peek.

But now I know he's from South London, and has a programme about ‘dating’ on ITV. His real name is Daniel. Oh, and he's totally ok with joking about sexual assault, rape, and abusing homeless people. FOR BANTS, innit.

See, two writers reviewed his Christmas album (proving anyone can, in fact, create a Christmas album), and when they heard him talking about giving a woman “one up the bum” and a tramp stinking of s**t in The Name of Bants, they told people to not put themselves through the torture. It wasn’t a harsh critique, and they even included the links in case people did want to make their ears bleed listen

Anyway, he took real offense and got his legion of insane followers (who’d give the puppy-killing One Direction fans a run for their money) to threaten and abuse the two writers, blaming them for the lack of sales and that he WAS going to donate proceeds to a homeless charity but he can’t now, innit.

When Shelter got wind, they refused to accept any donations from Dan, Dapper, whatever, which then prompted an apology from him, because seriously when a charity refuses to take your cash, you’re on slippery ground.

His fans couldn’t understand what went wrong...

@dapperlaughs I can't understand. If people don't like you. They don't have to watch/ follow you people just love a good moan! #teamdapper
— Robert Anderson (@robbie_93_) November 7, 2014

Can't believe how much grief @dapperlaughs is getting this week. If you don't like it, don't watch it? I personally find him hilar! #TopLad
— Liz Dodd (@Doddlar) November 10, 2014

If Dapper Laughs humour offends you don't fucking watch his vines or show and don't bloody follow him on twitter
— Andrew Crossland (@americanoandrew) November 10, 2014

My opinion is that people take life far too seriously if they're complaining about @dapperlaughs If you don't like it, change channel?
— Laur. (@LaurenMabs) November 10, 2014

If you don't like Dapper Laughs don't watch his material. It's obvious what his style is and if people enjoy that they should be free to.
— Mathew (@lowerthanmathew) November 10, 2014

Ah, the old ‘if you don’t like it don’t look’ argument. See, as I mentioned above, I get that. I don’t read certain blogs and I don’t watch certain tv shows because I don’t like them, and because I don’t like them, I don’t look. But then again, none of them advocate sexual assault.

Anyway, it’s now come to light that he said one of his audience members was ‘gagging to get raped’ and that she should bring two friends with her backstage as she was going to need them.

ITV seems to think there’s literally nothing wrong with this. That he’s a bastion of UK humour and that comedians need to be risky. They’ve refused to recall his show, and may have potentially given Dapper Dan two more series. BECAUSE HE’S A LAD.

So no more talk.

I’d love everyone to take a look at this petition, and, if they agree, stick your name on it. We don’t need a generation of men thinking this is what women should tolerate, for jokes, bants, whatever. We don’t want boys growing up thinking this cheeky chappy persona is an excuse to threaten and demean the women they encounter in their day to day lives.

Because ‘if she cries, she’s just playing hard to get,’ right?

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When to resign from your job

It's a sad fact that most of our generation will be working until we're way into our late sixties. As awful a prospect as this seems, it simply means we could, and should, be picky about where we work. No one says we have to stay in the job we trained in, and in the same vein it doesn't mean we all need oodles of letters after our names to be able to have a shot in a new industry.

If we're to survive our working lives with some sanity - spanning five decades for some - we need a good work ethic, a little bit of luck, and an industry we want to support.

So what happens when you realise your career prospects aren't taking you any further than your current role? It's time to look elsewhere. And when you find a new job, it means there'll be one awkward conversation: a meeting where you say thanks for the opportunity Mr Boss Man/Lady, but I'm off.

For me, this happened a month ago.

And
I
Was
Petrified.

So say you've been offered a new job. You've got the call. When should you resign? I called on the expert advice of Annabel of Irenicon again to iron out the facts.

When to resign from your job

Check your contractual notice period... if you have one.

When you get news you've been offered a new role, chances are you'll get a written contract outlining everything from your company pension to holiday entitlement. If you're working for a smaller place, though,  or your role is a bit more casual, you might not be asked to sign a thing. But that doesn't mean you don't have a contract - it's just a verbal one.

Annabel says anything written down can serve as your contract, from informal emails to handwritten memos, so check these to see if there's any indication about your notice period in any correspondence.

Ok, so you've checked and there's nothing about your notice period anywhere. "In the absence of a contractual term about notice, you and your employer are on ‘reasonable notice’. For the majority of short term ordinary employees this will be the same as statutory notice which kicks in at one month’s service and is a week from either party."

So now you know your legal obligation, whether it's one weeks notice or one year. What next?

Don't burn your bridges.

As mentioned in this feature, you may want to slam the letter of your boss' desk, flip him/her the finger and tip over the water machine while moonwalking out of the building knowing you have mere days left at your desk. But not only is that a terrible idea, it could leave you without a job to go to next.

"Are you going to want a reference from these people at some point now or in the future? If their policy is to give ‘tombstone’ references only (which is to say you worked here from that date to that date as a whatever your job title is) then you are not going to affect that. It might be worth checking it out before you arrive at a decision though..."

Your employer has been decent enough to (hopefully) always pay your wages and give you a shot at your career. There's no need to act entitled just because you've decided to leave.

Work out a plan of action.

Firstly, sign your contract with your new employer. After all, there may be terms in your new job you aren't happy to just accept, so there could be a bit of negotiation needed before you go ahead. Only after the contract has been signed and sent should you then decide to have the chat - otherwise, tell no one.

Secondly, work out any remaining holiday you're entitled to. Again, check your contract for whether you need to take it as leave before you go or whether  you'll need to work the full period of notice and be paid in addition.

Thirdly, in this world of Instant Messaging and E-Mail it can be easy to type something up and fire it off. But you got the job face-to-face. So do the right thing and schedule a meeting to inform your boss.

It's not the easiest thing to have to do, especially if you've been at your place of work for years, or if you're a fairly intrinsic part of the company. Remember though, that not everything is permanent, and at the end of the day, it's just business. When you find a job you love (like I have) then you'll realise that quitting could have been the best thing to do.

Note: for tips on how to resign, click here.

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Is deciding not to head to university career suicide?

We've heard from A Boy and A Laura about how university helped them, not just bag their job in an industry they love, but also build their confidence with people, relationships and friends.

But what happens if you think university isn't for you? Are you doomed to a life of manual labour and friendless-ness?

No.

As Another Laura, here's why I think you can make it without those letters after your name.

When I was 16, which was far too long ago to even remember how I felt back then, I was a bit indecisive. My parents are both successfully self-employed, with dad only taking an Open University course when he was in his late thirties. So I grew up with the notion that uni wasn't necessary for all things. It was about priorities, working hard, and not slacking.

Plus, the plan was to always move abroad, so being settled wasn't ingrained in me as much as travel was.

At 16 I had literally no clue which direction I wanted my career to take. I wasn't even sure I wanted a career, preferring instead to earn cash monies and get a car/buy clothes/go on holiday than devote my life to work. I didn't want to take a course at uni for the sake of it, wasting my time and racking up a debt I wouldn't be able to pay.

So I went to college for a bit and started to study beauty therapy. Which I decided wasn't for me. I knew I liked working with people, though. But how and in what way I was unsure of.

Ten years later...

One day I woke up and I decided journalism was for me. I don't know what it was that told me this was my career, but I knew I wanted to pursue it. Desperate to learn and soak in all the knowledge I could, I took an intensive online course to get the basics, and then got stuck in pitching to editors left right and centre.

I worked damn hard to impress and network with those in the know, and after a stint at the Beeb and a few months interning at a press agency I found a job as a copywriter for a beauty website. It's led to so many opportunities, writing words for newspapers and magazines, for New Look and H&M, on tube ads to scripts for tv advertising. I've seen my work in print and on screen, and I know I've fought damn hard to make it happen. I know I'll also always have to prove myself to make up for my lack of formal qualifications.

Now, I face another career change, taking my work from freelance to something a bit more steady. I started my brand spanking new job as a Communications Executive for a really exciting travel brand almost a month ago. And I didn't need uni to get there. I just needed drive, enthusiasm, courage and the ability to learn new things pretty damn quickly.

And walking past a recruiter's window one Sunday afternoon.

So, in my opinion, uni isn't always necessary. And I'd advise anyone unsure if it's for them to think about forging their own career path rather than following the crowd. You can make a career without uni. It may take longer, it may be stressful, and it may require some raw talent mixed with sheer determination to be the best you can, but you can do it.

Dealing with disappointment and the scary decision

Someone else who shares my point of view is Hannah, 22, who blogs at Love Icon Fantasy Ego. She went to school in Solihull, and almost all her classmates packed up and headed to uni after A Levels. Not her.

Like me, Hannah says there are three reasons why she gave it a miss. "I didn't know what course I wanted to do, I didn't want to get into debt, and my parents didn't go and are very successful in their careers." Valid reasons lots of others can relate to.

But what did others think? "I didn't get opposition from family or friends," she says, "but my college mentors were disappointed because I was a high achiever and I think they always thought I would go."

"I worked in what I thought was my dream career as an assistant buyer straight out of college, asking persistently for a shot at it. Nothing happened straight away, so I decided to set up my own company. My now-boss saw my ambition and drive to succeed, as well as my business acumen, and employed me. I currently work as a Marketing Assistant."

Hannah hasn't been treated any different by employers, but admits that a few job seekers may resent us non-uni folk for not spending the time and money on study. "To be honest other people will have their opinions regardless."

Her advice for anyone who isn't sure what to do? "If you change your mind about working straight out of school and it doesn't work out uni will always be there, you don't have to go now."

What do you think? Have you managed to make a career without university on your CV? What did it take for you to make it happen?

Interested? Read on...

We ask a boy: what's up with the grooming routine?

Depending on your source, many people believe it's actually men who take longer to get ready rather than women. My wife can testify to this. I preen like a non-gay peacock. The question is, what is wrong with a good grooming routine? For special occasions, it can go something like this...

- Shower
- Face scrub
- Shave
- Moisturise
- Hair
- Scent
- Clothes

You have the occasional one who enjoys a bit of body butter (you know who you are), a dabble on the fake tan, and those who need to ensure "their hair does not resemble a whale", again, you know who you are.

It is increasingly common for men to indulge in metrosexuality. No, that isn't lusting after free newspapers. It's the equivalent of their female counterparts - men talking as much time getting themselves looking good as women have traditionally done.

Last year Debenhams surveyed 1,000 men, and this boom in groom becomes more evident. Of the 1,000 British men surveyed, those aged between 20-29 spent on average £35 per month on grooming products. It also revealed men in their 30s were willing to spend up to £50 on a moisturiser and up to £40 on sorting out eye wrinkles. EYE WRINKLES FOR PETE'S SAKE (if anyone knows who Pete is please let the editor know).

I must admit, I'm partial to a bit of this. My skin has been described as baby face by an aesthetic nurse. Considering I'm 30 and commute across London, that's pretty impressive. However, a baby face means no beard, and everyone is partial to a bit of facial hair.

To look after mine, I tried Lush's Kalamazoo beard scrub. It smelled lovely. So much so I would definitely be tempted to have a nibble on it if I'd had the appropriate amount of alcohol for such a suggestion. Filled with the naturally enzymatic pineapple, almond oil for healthy skin, jojoba for moisture and apricot oil for softness, no wonder it smelled good enough to eat. Lush pride themselves on being all natural, which is great for me as I don't like synthetic rubbish.

Their Five O'Clock Whistle shaving smoothie also smelled rather tasty. However on long beards it was nowhere near as effective as my preferred shaving cream. It would be perfect for men with a little bit of stubble that needs tidying up for that 9am client meeting the following day. It has left my skin in pretty good nick though, which is always a bonus - probably due to the high coconut oil content. Shame it took the best part of an hour to get rid of my beard though.

But that's the point. We do spend longer getting ready. We do spend longer making an effort. Gone are the days of clean-shaven short back and sides. Rough and slightly rugged around the edges is very much in, and that needs maintenance.

So next time you're getting ready to go out with your boy, let him jump in the shower first. It will save you a whole lotta waiting around time.

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We Ask A Boy: Is going to university worth more than a degree?

Uni is seen as the natural progression for most people. And it can lead to an amazing career. But is that all there is to higher education? We ask a boy whether uni changes people for better or worse, and whether it's worth considering a course for more than just learning.

From a relatively young age, I knew I wanted to go to university. Not because it was the done thing, or because my parents rail-roaded me into it, but because I knew at the other end I would have a set of skills that would help me get to where I am now.

Don’t get me wrong – this isn't to say if you don't go to university you'll end up being a social moron. Far from it. I know plenty of people who struggle in social situations, even with the experience of university behind them. It is also not an implication that if you choose college at 16 then you’re doomed forever. There are success stories from both angles.

Let me explain. Prior to university, I was a shy, retiring chap who wouldn’t say boo to a goose. To be fair, I wouldn’t do so now. They terrify me. I was a creative writer, but wanted a career in journalism. Would a shy, retiring guy succeed in the bull-pen? Absolutely not.

So. I packed my things and shifted my life to Preston for three years. Besides the qualifications I left with, I also had a set of life skills and experiences behind me that I will never forget (which is ironic given most of those start with ‘when I was really drunk’).

One of the biggest reasons I would recommend university is your personal development. You learn a lot about yourself, how you can survive without the immediacy of mum and dad and what kind of person you really are. The difference in maturity between Child A that went off to university to fend for themselves and Child B that stayed at home to have the safety blanket of mum and dad can be stark.

I actually believe personal development is just as important as further education. For example, I have always held the opinion that you cannot train a journalist – they either get it or they don’t. No exams or dissertations or studying can bring that core talent out if it's not there to begin with.

But university forces you to become a different person. If you're already loud and confident, it's about finding a place and maturing without being overbearing. If, like me, you're timid and need a bit of coaxing to make conversation, it gives you the opportunity.

For those of you ready to embark on Fresher’s Week, I salute you. Don’t hold back. Do things you regret – it’s much better to regret something you did than something you did not, with no chance to rectify it. Mistakes will be made, but they make you a stronger person. University really is the best time of your life.



Laura, of Heroine in Heels fame, says she felt exactly the same:

@sixoutoftenmag before university I was so shy. I had low self esteem, under confident. now out going and way too confident sometimes ha!
— Heroine In Heels (@LauraJHyatt) September 10, 2014

Laura was born and raised in Warrington. At 22, she says only half her class ended up at uni, due in no small part to its vocational college which offered hands-on training for skilled workers.

"University was driven into me from day one by my parents though," she says. "Neither went to college and so they wanted me to better myself and get a good career. It was never not on the cards."

Like our A Boy, Laura's parents advised her to go on a summer pre-university camp. "Basically it was four weeks living on campus and attending a few lecture style classes with around 100 people. They made me go as I was shy and nervous, so they thought it would ease me in."

This changed everything. She explains: "I used to feel quite bad about myself and I couldn't talk to a lot of people as I thought they'd laugh at me. I was the quiet and reserved one in my group back then. University threw me in at the deep end but surprisingly I took to it very well."

Instead of worrying about what people thought, she let herself come out of her shell. Gradually others started noticing her talking up more, and could see the change in her confidence. And then of course, there were the boys. A Boy puts his confidence with women - which he discovered during his first year at university - down to similar reasons.

Laura carries on: "I was late to the game as again I didn't think I was pretty or that boys would want me. Well I discovered that some boys do! Ha!" Laura actually met her boyfriend at university during her first year, which she says "worked out quite nicely."

Now, she works for JP Morgan as a technology analyst. "I got my job by working so incredibly hard. I did internships at various city companies, and I was applying for if not close to 50 jobs. Graduates say there aren't any jobs, but that's not strictly true. You just have to apply again and again and again."

Laura knows without her degree she wouldn't have her job. "But also university as an experience changed me as a person. I know have so much confidence, energy and the ability to go for things if I want them. The degree is essential for my role, but the best part is the way I've changed."

Her advice? Live with a big group of people and join a few societies. "It's a great way to meet people in an environment that you feel comfortable in."

What do you think? Did uni change you? Stay tuned for our next feature, on getting your dream career without a degree.

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Why you should remove PR Friendly from your bio and blog. Now.

I think of all the gripes I have about the blogger/PR relationship, this is one of the top three. Maybe even the top one. When bloggers call themselves PR Friendly it's actually counter-intuitive to the message they're trying to get across. It's not necessary at all. In fact, putting PR Friendly in your twitter bio or in your blog's intro is actually something that will put a PR off working with you. Why? In my true ranting style, as usual, here are five reasons you need to read.

It's a little bit of desperate and a lot of lazy

You accept reviews, great. But there's no need to shout about it, and especially not in your bio. Save those precious, precious characters and use them to describe your blog a bit more, or link to another social channel. As for being lazy, you know those same-olds who constantly spam #prrequest for free holidays, buggies, kids toys (why do the mummy bloggers seem the worst at this?) and cars? PR Friendly, to me, is on the same level as that. We don't need to be told, so don't waste your breath. Work for your collaborations, don't just wait for them.

It shows you won't be loyal to me

I want to build a relationship with bloggers. I want it to be monogamous, ideally. I don't want to leave one night and come back in the morning to see a blogger's basically just accepted everything from all and sundry and who know where else they've been. This is no place for slutty board games. PR Friendly suggests you're happy to accept anything and everything. And that's actually not very good to PR folk. We all love a freebie, sure. But there's more to blogging than free stuff, and we need to make you're you're going to shout about us, rather than everyone.

It's seriously unoriginal and means nothing

We work in a really creative industry. We're constantly thinking of new angles and way to reach the masses with our client's message. Whether it's the #nomakeupselfie, the Ice Bucket Challenge or Paddy Power style virals, we need to work with people who can tell a creative story. So sorry, but when you say PR Friendly all I think is that you're like every other lipstick-smearing, flamingo-posing blogger out there with reams and reams of asterisked features and freebies you're seeeeeeeeh thankful to have received. THANKS MR POSTMAN OMG YOU MUST HATE ME WITH ALL MY PARCELS!!1!1! Bore.

It makes no sense

Every blogger who values their readers is PR friendly. Every. Single. One. Because whether it's a friendly 'no thanks!' or a 'sure, I'll try your product,' there's rarely anyone being out and out unfriendly to us PR folk. The ones who are unfriendly to a PR stranger asking if they want to be added to their press list are ones who are unfriendly to chuggers, and sales callers, and any other unsolicited contact. They probably kick puppies too.

It screams amateur

Look at any bigger blogger and you'll find a well-crafted PR page, and no mention of it anywhere else. We're by no means anywhere near as big as a 'big' blogger, but we have a press page for any fellow folk who want to get in touch. It's clear, easy to read and accessible from any post. Even better, this explains to PRs your terms and conditions there and then, and how you work. Saying you're PR Friendly is basically the online equivalent of begging. No sophisticated blogger would dream of including it in such a brash manner.

So what subtle, professional hints can bloggers give to consumer PRs to say work with me?

1. Remove the banners, and delete the bios. You don't need to mention you're PR friendly, because if your blog reflects who you are, PRs will be clamouring to get in touch regardless of that label.

2. Be contactable through a contact us box, and if you want it online have your email right-clickable (which means no JPGs) so I can access and copy it easily.

3. Tell me your name. Just so you bloggers don't get one of those oh-so-annoying Dear Blogger emails.

It's as simple as that! Want to read more about working with PRs? Find out how to use Twitter to get a job, how to create a media pack/press kit for your blog and how to avoid finding yourself on a PR's blacklist in our series of blog marketing features.

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We ask a boy: What's it like for the groom on his wedding day?

Some things in life make you nervous. Getting your GCSEs or your A-Level results. Your driving test, starting a new job. Even opening that jack-in-the-box (yes I’m thinking of Will Ferrell in Elf. SO SUE ME) can be perilous.

However, I can guarantee one of your major life events will top these, and it’s the day you get married.

Now, I’m not a nervous ninny. I watched Chelsea’s Champion’s League penalty shoot-out from the safety of behind my shirt. But I cannot begin to tell you how rampant those butterflies were the week of August 25. The problem is not many blokes offer their two-penneth on what to expect. I’m the first of my ‘group’ to get married, so they were as useful as a chocolate teapot.

But there’s something deeper that troubled me. It’s a human trait to mask fear with bravado. I should know. So by the time Monday passed and Tuesday happened, it was time to head to Edinburgh and I was becoming more and more nervous as the minutes went by.

Granted my dad had been through the whole process before, but somehow the advice of someone who has been married 27 years (and counting) just didn’t seem to go in.

After a few (I say a few. I knew there was something suspiciously strong about those JD and cokes) drinks the night before to settle my nerves, it only fuelled a decent night’s sleep. A rude alarm call at 7am didn’t help matters, so by the time the big day was upon me, I was still none the wiser about what to expect.

After tottling downstairs in a dressing gown, there was no going back to sleep for me. I tossed and turned in bed for a bit before deciding to go for some breakfast. I think I managed a few pastries and nothing more. I took my niece for a walk for an hour or so (or at least it felt that way. Damn my long legs and her three-and-a-half-year-old stumps) before getting back to the hotel. I sat and listened to a few of ‘our’ songs, before requiring whiskey to calm to the nerves.

I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was while getting ready.

Not because I had doubts over my soon-to-be wife, but because I didn’t know what I was nervous about. It’s the not-knowing part that made it worse. I suppose it’s like being ill and not knowing why. I dispatched my dad off for whiskey number two while getting into my suit which didn’t take nearly as long as it did to do my hair (OK so I’m a bit of a magpie. But it was my wedding day so that’s ok), and before I knew it I was ready.

During all of this Jacob, one of our photographers, was capturing every moment between me and my dad. Later on he said he’d never seen anyone look as nervous as I was, so I guess I’m memorable for that reason alone!

We headed to the registry office, but we were so early I found time for whiskey number three. I waited in a little area with nothing but open, bare benches for what seemed like a lifetime before Tom the registrar popped down to have a chat with me. Everything from here on in seemed a blur.

Some of my married female friends had said this would happen, but I was well aware a bride’s world is totally different to the groom’s. True to their word, the day passed before I knew it.

I paced and waited, and I’ll never forget the goosebumps I had when Tom said ‘could you all please stand for the bride’. Now. I’m not ashamed to say as soon as I saw Mrs W, I cried. I was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. It had all come down to this moment, and finally it was here. It felt like popping that hard spot – a huge release of pressure, and the day was now ours to savour.

There’s nothing wrong with being nervous. It’s perfectly natural, and it’s to be expected. It would be more of a surprise if you weren’t nervous, to be honest.

So what’s my advice? It’s two-fold.

Firstly to the men lucky enough to be committing themselves to the woman of their dreams. It’s ok to say you’re nervous. Bravado and joking around will only release the tension on the surface. Think of the duck. Furious underneath the water, serene above it. Talk to someone on the morning. Try and have some breakfast. If you’re like me it will only seem to make the butterflies worse, but it’s a long day. If you need to go for a walk on your own then knock yourself out (not literally), just remember to tell someone so they don’t think you’ve done a runner.

Secondly, this is for the brides. Yes, we appreciate it’s a rather stressful time, but do take some time out to consider the effect it’s having on us. I am fortunate enough that Mrs W knows me inside out, so could tell. Have some time together the day before the wedding away from wedding stuffs just to remember what got you there in the first place. If you think you’ll be too busy then make time. It will help more than you will ever know.

Enjoy your day. It’s your day, and never lose sight of that.

Even if she is a bridezilla.

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The real world of tabloid journalism - one inexperienced writer's opinion

You may have remembered a shout-out on social media looking for a young aspiring writer to head up a new column for The Sun. The lazily named Column Idol (why. Why does everything have to be like this) competition saw young people all over the UK vie for the chance to see their words and byline in print. We spoke to ArrayO'Style founder Kheira, 16, about her experience as a finalist, and why tabloid journalism has left a bitter taste in her mouth.

As part of the Media Trust's Column Idol competition,­ I featured in The Sun newspaper and received a mentor to help critique and finalise my article. But I'll be writing about how I felt let down by the whole process.

With credentials as shiny as their glass desks­ it's clear to see how fascinating it would be to work for such a prestigious newspaper and how featuring in it would be a dream. However, whilst sitting in a plush, classy conference room with the other competitors I felt weak and insecure.

I was the youngest there, and while that would be classed as an advantage to some, everyone in the room had degrees from the most sought-after universities in the world... and I was sat there anticipating my highest ever level of education, my GCSE results.

After discussions it appeared there were two candidates from Essex,­ myself and another chap four years older than me. While breaking the ice, which involved stating your location, educational achievements and just general status, it became evident after a few sniggers from the word 'Essex' my heart thundered, ferociously and spine shuddered. Was this tokenism, I wondered?

My mentor (a high up editor) was not present on the day, and with only a week to write the article  panic struck and it felt like bad luck was going to be accompanying me throughout this journey.

To date I still haven't met my mentor and have had no telephone communication with her. But to be honest, as we're both nine to fivers­ it was obvious we would rarely share words. The organisers knew of our employment commitments prior. We exchanged about four emails­ of which it was mainly me writing drafts and her reading through them.

She stated she thought my idea, entitled The Perils of the Pretty Faces 'really captured the reader's intention and makes them want to read on,' before mentioning I couldn't chose which pictures were selected alongside the article. I thought this was a crude decision as I wrote about model apartments - girls sharing with up to eight other models - and needed factual pictures­ which I gathered for the piece.

The article also mentioned many case studies but no actual model in particular. Nothing else was said before the article went to print.



The features were written and placed online.

Watching the other articles being fiercely retweeted and exposed on Twitter I had a clear list of contacts ready to help publicise the article's digital copy. During the Column Idol fortnight, the first week of contestants had their digital PDF copies posted on three different Twitter accounts under The Sun's stable, with total followers topping almost a million. They even had their web link directly placed in those tweets, one of which has over 500,000 followers alone.

In contrast to mine, where I was desperately asking The Sun to retweet. My picture was just a snapshot of the feature­ in their newspaper. And still no appreciation.

Had I wasted a week of my time writing something even the publisher didn't want exposed to others?

It was tweeted by one account; late at night, with no digital copy or web link. I had to keep emailing my promoters to wait, it was coming. It came a week and a half later and the model agencies weren't interested in passing it to their girls for exposure as it wasn't current.

On press day and feeling like a child at Christmas, I ran to the local corner shop to purchase the copy and see my words in print, words of which I agonised over for too long. Unbeknown to me, the dreaded had happened. Instead of my carefully chosen headline, I saw a different title, 'Ugly Side to Glam Lifestyle of Top Models.' It didn't even make any sense grammatically. A five-year-old could've picked that up.

Ok, it captured the reader's attention and made them want to read on­. But I had no mention of Cara Delevingne or Kate Moss, and it seemed only half of the words were mine.

I was heartbroken.

Yes, others were full of praise and recognition. But, it wasn't mine. Needless to say it was mine originally, but in my opinion it had been manufactured into a mess. Which I would then be judged on. How could so many negative feelings come from such an initially positive experience?

I remained silent then and have done since as the competition isn't finished. But I just can't help thinking: was this set-up really meant to be my dream come true?

Photo: Mark O'Henly/flickr ArrayO'Style

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Can your Twitter account turn a hobby into a career?

Whether it be blogging, vlogging, making music or creating your own business, we’ve all heard about the newly invented phenomena of certain individuals earning the title ‘internet famous’. But the real question is how did they acquire this level of success and how can you gain it too? How did these ordinary people manage to create a following of around 1 million people to anywhere up to 15 million?

Obviously personal traits (such as being hard-working, being dedicated and being able to persevere) need to be accredited to success, but social media plays a huge role in the path to creating a buzz around your online hobby.

For the purpose of leaving this list at a reasonable word count, I am going to use the example of creating a successful blog in the below tips, but they are applicable to any website you are trying to enhance.

Without further ado, in no particular order, here are the top five points to have social media help transform your hobby into a career: 

Grow your Twitter audience

Before you create a Twitter account, make sure you have content already as nobody wants to be enticed into clicking onto a blog page that's as empty as a student’s bank account!

Once you have a few posts up and running, create a Twitter account. The way to begin your growth in audience is to search for a few blogs that are similar to your own and follow them. For example, if you are writing a blog about travelling, follow other travel blogs. This will get you noticed in the blogging community and the word will begin spreading about YOUR posts.

Interact with key individuals 

Key individuals can mean a diverse range of people, but put simple, they're people interested in your blog. They can be other bloggers, industry experts and just ordinary people with an interest in what you’re writing about. Make sure you regularly interact and develop relationships them because when it comes down to it, they will choose your blog to read first if they feel like they know you personally.

If you develop relationships with industry experts they're more likely to promote your blog if you've developed a friendly relationship.

Relationships are key when starting out so make sure not to underestimate the power of old- fashioned techniques evolving in a modern world. World of mouth (or word of tweets and status updates nowadays) can still be one of the most effective ways to get people talking about your website.

Write great content

It's all well and good growing an audience to share your hobby, but you need to provide good content for them to returning and to share your posts with others. Tweeting about your new post will generate a few clicks to your blog, but great content will ensure people are coming back to your posts on their own, without little nudges from you.

Interesting, well researched content will create loyal, regular followers for you who also share your posts with their followers and friends.

Hashtags and directing tweets

Hashtags are searchable on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr etc. so make sure you use hashtags that are searched often. Using general hashtags that are popular to search (such as #beautytips, #holiday and #bloggerswanted) will make your blog viewable to many people that may have not found it before.

Hashtags are a great way of getting your social media posts out in the open to be seen by new potential followers and also a great way of telling these followers what many of your posts will be based around.

For example:

NEW UPLOAD: Hair Growth Treatments. http://t.co/FF5RX19bYx @TheBlogGuideRT @FemaleBloggerRT #longhair #bbloggers
— Charlotte (@BeautyandBolder) August 23, 2014

With this tweet, many people now know that I am a beauty blogger and will be posting regularly about beauty products, reviews and tips. Also, directing tweets to specific people and companies can be a good way to boost the buzz around your blog. If you tweet people with a higher following than yours, they will reply or retweet your tweet and you will get noticed by their following.

This is the same for companies but usually with a much larger following than individuals – sometimes with a following into the millions. This kind of promotion can give your blog the boost it needs to gain a large following and for you to be able to make your hobby into a career.

Show individuality in your social media channel

You will lose followers if you spam people’s newsfeeds with persistent begging tweets. You have to put across your individual personality with your feed so you are personable and approachable. Showing yourself to be a three dimensional person in the sometimes-restricting platform of social media is imperative to get through to your audience and create a loyal following.

People will prefer to promote a real person behind a good blog instead of an annoying spammer.

If you follow the above points, your following WILL grow. But above else, you must believe in the snowball effect. A small snowball rolling down a hill grows until it is huge and has collected a large amount of snow to attach to itself. The pickup of people noticing your hobby will start slowly but the longer time you dedicate to growing your following and creating great content, the bigger the following you will attract.

Anything worth having takes time and effort, so patience is key to turning your hobby into a career.

Good luck! :)

By Charlotte A’ Court of Beauty and Bolder

Image: Doug8888/flickr

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We ask a boy: Can you meet the love of your life in a bar?

"There was the date I had in my favourite local pub where she bought me a chocolate orange beer," he says while he chops onions for the home made fish pie he's treating me to. "It made me almost vomit. Every sip I had I pulled a weird face. I'd taken so long to drink it but I couldn't exactly say she'd picked up a terrible choice."

Why didn't he just order another, I ask? He has no good answer for that, other than being polite.

I'm grilling my fiancé over bar dates - as in whether you can meet a girlfriend at a bar. This was the first experience he immediately called to mind after I'd asked the question.

She'd had wine, of course, and left the exotic beer to her date because she's either a clever girl, or a clueless one. You're always safe when you pick wine. Even if you just go for a colour rather than try and decipher a zinfandel from a Pino Grigio.

Except red.

Never, ever pick red wine on a date.

"I'd met her while I was working at a bar. She was the same age, maybe a bit older, and really attractive," he says when I ask how the date came about.

I've never understood women who can pick up men in bars. I'd never have the figurative manballs to walk up to a random stranger and flirt my ass off in the hopes of a decent conversation let alone something as daring as asking for a number.

"Well, because you could see the name on the receipt she waited until I served her and flirted from there." HA. So she cheated.

After the orange beer debacle she'd apologised a thousand times but conversation wasn't great. "It was all about the drink. I just remember her asking 'is it ok, do you want another?' over and over again. When the sole conversation is about a terrible tasting beer it's not going to go any further than making out on the sofa and getting a cab home."

He says he just saw her around town after that. There wasn't much awkwardness, it was just put down to another bad date. She'd seemed like fun when they first met, but was anything but.

Another example?



"I was single," he says. Yeah, I remember it well - he'd broken up with a long-term girlfriend, and the rebound wasn't working out too well either. HA.

"It was England vs. France in the Six Nations and me and my friends had been out on an all day binge. A few lads had gone home but there was two of us who'd stayed out. I was single, with no commitments to worry about - finally."

"We'd met a few girls - friends of friends - who were out on a birthday night out. They were clearly flirting, and they were the only reason we'd stayed out so long. They'd left in the early hours and I was on my way home when I recognised a girl I'd met in a local bar. So I ended up going back inside with her, talking and having a really good night getting to know her."

Things progressed to first date territory and looked good. "We chatted, and had a few drinks a week later." It actually turns out her took her to London to see a show for their third date. Things were promising. Relationship territory seemed on the cards, and I even remember being told that if things happened with her our friendship would have to be put on the back burner. So it's just as well things went tits up I'd say.

"I loved a local pub way out in the country which had great food. It was a gastro pub type place where you can eat, drink and then relax. We'd had great conversation before and London was loads of fun so it was the best option."

He met her at her house and they got a taxi together. All was well. "We were chatty in the taxi, there was definite flirting too." Why wouldn't there be? You don't take just anyone to see Wicked, right? (I'm not resentful, promise.)

"We arrived at the pub where she promptly knocked back a few vodkas before we'd even ordered. When I asked if everything was ok she blamed it on a bad day."

The food came, she played and picked at it and barely said a word. "I asked after her again, she snapped back she was fine and then walked out mid meal. I was stunned. We were halfway through eating when she flounced out, so of course I finished my food. She'd not come back ten minutes later. So I finished her food. And drink."

"We shared a taxi home, and I couldn't help but laugh." He saw her two weeks later over coffee and she apologised. But that was that. Having bumped into her in the local supermarket nothing but tense smiles were shared.

I ask if it's possible to meet the love of your life in bar.

He says no. "It's never based on personality, it's all looks, or luck."

He's right. After a night in a London club recently it's impossible to find out anything useful about anyone with blaring music dominating the night. Even screaming into each others' ears (how romance) isn't enough to work. Really, how can you know anything about the stranger you've picked based on terrible sign language [LOUD DANCE MUSIC] signalling you need to go to the loo but order me another vodka red bull? [LOUD DANCE MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

"Alcohol plays a massive part too. There are exceptions, but almost everyone's out to get wasted and make bad decisions. Men don't tend to think with their heads and women may do things they wouldn't have normally done if they weren't full of fizz."

Even if you manage some modicum of self control and go on that second date, they're very rarely what you remember of them. As the first example proves.

"There's so little chance of personality being compatible, or finding an emotional connection with someone," he says. "When you meet at work or through friends you see them with their guard down. They're just being, well, them. If the groundwork's been made, either online or wherever, then a bar is just another setting."

"If not," he says, "it's a really random and awkward way to meet people."

So, we ask a boy, can you meet the love of your life in a bar?

"It happens sometimes. But let's face it, is that the story you'd want to to tell your grandkids?"

Do you agree? Can anyone start a decent relationship that way? Or have you ended up with your soulmate after a night in a bar? Let us know!

Photo: Mr T in DC, Dean Beyett

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The trouble is, you think you have time

Why does it feel, recently, that there's not enough time?

Perhaps thirty-somethings know how I feel. How, oh how, did I get to being 28? Where did all the time go? Why do I still feel exactly as I did when I was eighteen?

It's not ageing that bothers me. I can grow old as disgracefully as I like, and the best thing is - done properly - I can just be called eccentric. Or a cat lady. Ageing I've come to terms with. (Also I work with a fabulous aesthetic nurse who can halt time so there is that.)

The thing that bothers me the most is there's just not enough time for everything I want to do. I'm fully aware that ten years have passed me by since the day I turned 18 and thought 'I'm seeeeeeeeeh machuuuuuuure'. But what have I really done with my twenties?

I started learning Mandarin - and failed.

I started learning Thai - and failed.

I went backpacking a few weeks every year.

I got married.
And divorced.

I built houses.
I tore them down.

I met amazing people.

I lost amazing people.

I fulfilled one life's ambition: I did smoosh my face into a chocolate cake. That was AWESOME.

So you'll see on the navbar at the top of this post a new page, 50 things before 2015. Next year I'll be thirty, and I've allowed life to just pass me by for some reason. There are things I've been desperate to do but things, work, family, friends, have come first. 

Not any more. 

I want to see everything. I want to travel and try new things. See, people can spend their life focusing on researching one species of animal or one city or one lake and still not scratch the surface. So no wonder I feel like life's flown away. I'm not asking for forever (ok, I want forever) but I feel like I should be making the most of the time I do have.

I love a challenge, and putting these goals in writing means I have the motivation to make each one happen. 

So, any thoughts on what I should try first?

Photo: Kay Gaensler

Interested? Read on...

Just what does depression feel like?

After the shock death of everyone's favourite funny-man Robin Williams yesterday, the world was in mourning. Comments ranged from surprise at how someone so seemingly happy could decide to end their life, to calls for the media to report depression and suicide in a more ethical manner than has been before.

So what does depression feel like? Is depression just feeling sad? Can you snap out of it? Does thinking happy thoughts help you get out of being depressed?

Here's what it was like for me.

It's not being sad, because that would mean that you feel something
Sadness is a good sign. Feeling sad means you have emotion, and if you can feel sad you can feel extremes. Depression feels like, well, nothing. Your favourite movie leaves you bored. Your funniest joke doesn't tickle you. Nothing makes you sad or upset, and nothing makes you happy. You feel like shell of a person, unable to feel anything except a sense of being trapped and guilt. Guilt for knowing you shouldn't feel this way.

It's like everyone else can enjoy the sunshine but you're shrouded in fog
You can see everyone else making the most of their life, but you feel numb. It's like your friends and you are on the same beach but they have the sun shining on them and you don't. Everyone around you is sunbathing and playing volleyball and socialising and having so much fun, but for you there's no sunshine. It's drizzly and cold and you can't even see the sea thanks to the mist. Everyone around you wants you to enjoy life because they are. And you can see they are. And you want to, so desperately. But how can you when your brain and body doesn't feel like your own? When you feel like you're living in a haze?

It's when sleep seems like the best thing ever, because for those precious moments you're not trapped

I used to love dreaming. Because in those dreams I felt inexplicable joy and unfathomable sadness. Dreams seemed to be how my brain would cope with the lack of emotional processing throughout the day - it was a natural outlet for the experiences I had encountered but been unable to process in my waking life. Even if I had a dreamless night, the relief of knowing that for a few hours I could rest made sleep my best friend. It's why suicide seems like a good option - one I've contemplated many times. Because it ends the numbness, the hopelessness and despair of the illness you have. It's seemingly the only way for peace.

It's not being able to recall good memories. It's like they never even happened.

My ex's favourite saying was 'think of the good times' but really, it's impossible. Everything seems bleak, like you're a spectator in your own life's story. You know you had fun and enjoyed life at one point, because you haven't always felt this way. But for some reason those memories seem lost, shrouded in that fog which consumes all emotion and logic. And if you can think of them, there's no emotion attached. It's as if you're watching someone else's home videos - you can see what's going on, you can see people having a good time, but how can you feel anything if you weren't there?

It's not being able to ask for help, because really, no one can
A lot of comments were of people feeling angry after Robin took his life. It's like they were personally insulted they didn't reach out to help him. But it doesn't work like that. People can help no more than they can someone with cancer, diabetes, or cystic fibrosis. Doctors can barely change the chemicals floating around the body, so how can Joe Public help? Of course, it may seem that taking you out for a few drinks or for a lunch date will 'fix' you, to people who think you're just a bit sad. It won't. It's a temporary fix to a medical condition and all the tea and talk in the world can't help that. In fact, it leaves things worse. 'Why didn't you tell me' always made me feel guilty. I didn't need someone to tread on eggshells around me. I needed the normalcy of my close friends and family. Fortunately my family, when they found out the extent of how depressed I was, offered nothing but understanding. 

It's feeling scared to say you're depressed because people just can't ever understand. 

You can have all the money in the world, the most dotingly perfect family, a wonderful relationship and a job that earns you enough money to be able to live a comfortable life. But none of this matters. I say again, cancer doesn't discriminate. It targets the rich, the poor, the seeing, the blind, the old, the young, the happy and the sad. The same with depression. It's an illness, it's nothing to do with lifestyle or wealth, or whether you're a loner or a social bunny. It's not just feeling sad or low or being in a rut. It's not thinking about good times. It's not about any of that. And the sooner people realise just what depression is, the sooner we'll find sufferers more willing to express themselves. 

It's making the illogical seem the only option

I know, looking back, the decisions and thoughts I had at my lowest points weren't logical. But to me, they made perfect sense. In fact, nothing made more sense than my warped ideas and no advice and encouragement from those worried about me would work. This is what most people fail to realise about taking your own life when depressed. It seems so logical and clear at the time. It's the most perfect way out. 

When the working environment and employers cater for the depressed as they would someone with a broken leg, when doctors seek to treat the root cause instead of passing out pills, and when the public see that wealth and status are inconsequential, perhaps then we'll see an improvement in how this condition is treated. Depression isn't being just sad, it isn't a choice, it isn't moping for the sake of moping.

Me? I can say that it was a long struggle to get out of bed half the time. It took agonising willpower to not let it beat me. I could see my life passing me by one foggy day after the next, and eventually got the help and advice I needed to make my life a little bit better, day by day. It'll always be there, I know that. But for now, I can feel happy again.

There isn't a cure for depression yet. Who knows whether there ever will be. But with Robin Williams bringing the true seriousness of it to light, I just hope people will understand this complex condition. Even just a little bit.

Photo Louis Vest

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Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans

Oh dear oh dear. I never thought it would happen, but it seems I've abandoned this place.

So what's been going on in my life these last two weeks?

Work
Work has been busy. It's not enough to just come in and do a job when you work for a family business. Not if you want to ensure everyone can still get paid at the end of the month. So there have been late nights, weekend calls, and a lot of training introducing two new members of staff to the ins and outs of the place. It's been stressful and has taken up a good chunk of my time but I'm hoping things will settle over the next few months.

Moving out moving in
I moved out of my starter flat (I call it this as it was the first place I'd ever lived in on my own). It was a converted ground floor flat with a mini kitchen, mini living room and a bush in the garden that all the honeybees loved.

It was a massive achievement. After the end of a long-term relationship, which saw me move into his place at 18-years-old straight from my family home, and the start of a new relationship which brought with it a struggle finding work in the Midlands, it meant a lot of growing up was done in 2013. I was totally responsible for how my life panned out sans family/partner to help. The freedom it afforded me was great though, and I learnt just how independent and strong a person I was. I didn't need a relationship or friends to rely on as I once thought. If I could change the past of course I would, but wishes are for children and don't help the present so my growing up has been one of yes, getting near thirty, but more importantly one of becoming more mature.

Last weekend the fiancé moved in, and after a three hour drive with a van man who was clearly setting the world to rights we're a bit more settled this week, getting into a new routine of 'oh yeah, I forgot I needed to make dinner for two'. Behold the chaos.



Wedding plans
Weddings, I'm sure, are a "celebration" designed to stress out otherwise sane women and men and test their relationship to the extremes. Fortunately, my fiancé and I share extremely similar views on life and the future. So although our ceremony will be little (not little enough for me, as I'll be missing my beach wedding in Bora Bora), it's not come without its stresses. Dull flowers costing a bomb, dresses costing way more, and all the things on Pinterest screaming out to be bought otherwise can you really call it an actual wedding if there isn't a five tiered cake, sweetie table, flowers for one and all, vintage bunting and a photobooth?

To me, having already been married once before and having that big celebration organised by everyone else with friends of cousins of friends of who are you attending, a wedding should be shared with the people who love you. It should be an event both of you look back on and think yeah, although there have been massive compromises from both of us, we're happy with the ways it's panning out. Because it's not about the day (anyone can hold a party) it's about the years to come.

I'll just be glad when it's over and my new passport arrives. Speaking of passports...



Let's just fly away
Day by day the urge to satisfy my wanderlust that's been ever-present in my life gets stronger.  England, as gorgeous as it is, bores me. I want a new challenge, new adventure, and to be absorbed in new cultures. Asia will always hold a special place in my heart as the start of stretching out my wings, but having only spent 6 months total in Thailand, there's so much more to see and do. Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Burma (if possible) and southern China are on the hit list, as well as Australia, New Zealand, and the little islands dotted around the Pacific.

The world is as small as it is big. And the more travel bloggers I follow who have jumped ship and forgotten about 9-5 in favour of 'let's jump on this plane' makes me think why not? Life is short. And I'm already approaching thirty without having done hardly anything off my imaginary ever-changing list of stuff to do. I want to learn to surf properly, to make Vietnamese food like a pro and catch some rays on an Aussie beach. I want to travel to the top of the world, and explore the deepest caves. A week off here and there doesn't cut it, and while all inclusive little breaks are needed and a lovely treat, I can't wait to make plans to pack a backpack and never return (well, maybe return).

So that's me. What about you?

Images: Ellen Munro and Matthew Pearce

Interested? Read on...

Bloggers, write a negative review without being libellous

"I went out for a meal last night, the restaurant was vile. They use cheap cuts of meat and vegetables probably not fit for human consumption. The beef was fatty, I've never had this from other restaurants I've been to, and I've been dining out at places like this for years. The management had no interest in me or my guest, they're clearly only interested in money. 

They certainly use cheap ingredients and cheap meat, if it is meat at all, and this isn't reflected in the price you pay - ££££ per meal with cheap goods means they must be raking it in! Save your money and eat elsewhere. Our night out was ruined due to the fact the chef and management couldn't be bothered to serve us decent food. We were totally ripped off."

It's happened to all of us. We get sub-standard service. Once upon a time it was a case of telling friends, and getting them to tell their friends, and so on. Now, the lure of review sites and access to a highly influential blog means we can write a terrible review and it can be seen by thousands for years to come. Dirty laundry is well and truly aired. Before we know it we're complaining our little hearts out online, telling the world of the wrongs inflicted on us in the hopes of letting others know never to step foot in their door.

Hey, it's your opinion, free speech and all. What could go wrong, huh?

Well, a bad review can leave a massive problem for the writer, even if they feel 100% justified in their claims. In fact, the paragraphs above are actually what the legal world would call libellous.

libel 1) n. to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation.

"But it's true!" you cry. "Everything is true!" While that may be the case, it doesn't give the reviewer the right to call the brand's reputation into question even if you feel 100% justified in doing so. Unless you can unequivocally prove every statement (can you prove where their meat comes from? Can you prove the manager ignored you? That he was only after your money? Can you prove the ingredients aren't fit for human consumption?) then don't write it.

A writer would only be able to defend themselves if the statements are true, or if they were based on the facts at the time. And although the UK is yet to see a settlement American-style, where writers have been sued in the millions for complaining about services and products, the precedent is being set.

So, what can you write online if you want to slam someone's business or product, or warn others not to make the same mistake?

Firstly, don't be hasty. 

Give the management time to respond to your complaint. You may find they're willing to help and will go out of their way into resolving the situation. Don't ever post a review or blog post without giving them time to respond. Seven days is usually adequate. If you feel their offer isn't good enough, make them aware of it.

Don't threaten.  

"Don't ignore this. I have a blog that reaches a wide audience, and I know people who work in the media," is likely to get everyone on edge because it's considered social blackmail. A business with resources and the right contacts may have a legal team on standby ready to go if they feel threatened or pressured into acting a certain way. This could damage the relationship beyond repair and scupper any chances of a resolution. After all, that's all anyone wants, right?

If you must review, make it factual, but only if you can prove it. 

If you've given them time to respond and you're not happy with their suggestions, if you've told them so and they still won't budge, then and only then consider writing a review. State dates, times, and record all correspondence. Say you ordered a lipstick online via recorded postal service. It didn't arrive at the stated time. You then follow up by email and they don't respond. The package arrives late, and the lipstick is broken. The online store denies all knowledge and refuses a refund. These are the facts. You would easily write what could be proved and let others come to their own conclusion.

What could land you in hot water is calling the establishment 'scam artists', using hyperbole such as 'the sales adviser screamed at me and duped me into buying  shoddy product' or writing a 5,000 word epic. The more words you write, the more danger you're in.

Don't exaggerate. 

Instead of definites, use qualifiers. 'To me, it seemed the manager was too busy to take my call', or 'I felt the service I received was poor, which in turn made me feel uncomfortable asking for a replacement.'

Be prepared to defend yourself. And be prepared to take legal advice if what you're saying could even sniff at libel.

Ok, so what about PRs, when we send our a product for review and see nothing but negativity? Or if we receive an alert to say we've had a blogger leave a bad review? Well, that's the chance we take with sending our client out to the masses. Some will love, some will hate.

Depending on the severity of the review will depend on what action to take. Most of the time, bloggers will get in touch saying they didn't like the product. You can then offer a replacement. If they insist on writing about their experience, it's a case of just letting it go. However if the review calls into question integrity, honesty, or ethics and could damage the reputation of the client, then contacting the reviewer is the best option.

If a resolution can't be reached, perhaps by replacement, refund or goodwill, then it's either a case of leaving the review online, or taking legal advice. Both have negatives. The online review will be seen forever and ever, which could cost the company business. And seeking legal action could create a media storm. After all, BIG BUSINESS GOES AFTER TEEN BLOGGER is a sure fire way of getting the wrong kind of attention.

Businesses are born from the net, and can die because of it. As long as bloggers act reasonably and brands go out of their way to rectify an issue when they fall short (whether rightly or wrongly), we can keep dirty laundry off the internet.

As you probably know, this isn't legal advice in any way, shape or form although legal professionals have been contacted to verify accuracy. If you're worried about a negative review you've written, get in touch with the appropriate legal organisations who'll be able to help. Images courtesy Kelsey Christina Karstrand and Ralph Hockens.

Interested? Read on...

Is travelling in your handwriting?

I have a feeling a love of travelling and exploring in your blood. If you're a travel-fiend, you'll baulk at the idea of a mortgage and traditional lifestyle of 9-5, home by 6, with dinner on the table at 7 and reality telly until bed.

You'll love the thought of discovering a brand new secret hotspot, free from package tourists and the monotony resorts bring.

You'll love the feeling of the unknown, and probably have turned up at an airport or train station desperate to buy a ticket to somewhere, anywhere, to see what adventures lie ahead.

You'll see the sea and be transported back to That Time When. You'll get wind of a scent that'll take you back to a beach-side cookery school where you learnt to make local food by a local.

You'll come back home, and realise that your home can be anywhere. Sure, you have the familiarity of your culture. But there's so much more to see and to do.

Right?

So, we decided to put this to the test. Can travelling be in someone's blood, the love of the unknown be as much a part of them as their hair colour? Or is it something we develop?

Graphology, or the study and analysis of handwriting, is used as a means to pick out certain personality traits and assess character. So, it can be used to tell how introverted or extroverted someone is. Are they confident in social situations or do they shy away from them?

Two travel bloggers, and one lifestyle blogger sent their handwriting samples over to Emma Bache,  a graphologist who often writes for The Times, to see whether they had a natural affinity for travel.

Kelly

Around the world in 80 pairs of shoes

This writer shows many traits of independence, self confidence and a need to conquer her environment. Her writing is disconnected, quite slowly written and for the most part regular in size and spacing. She has a controlled and practical approach to life and would rather choose to be on her own than caught up in compromising her ideals for others.

Travel is important to the writer because she is hungry for new experiences and sees foreign adventures as a logical way to self improvement and fun and it satisfies her observant and febrile mind. Happy to travel alone or amongst a group of close friends she can be decisive and spontaneous but not a reckless risk taker. She is torn between the love of new experience whether it be a safari, camping out under the stars or horse riding in South America but also the intensity of exploring a new City.

She is unlikely to be drawn to a lazy fortnight on a beach as she can be restless and easily bored. The writer has a strong sense of proportion and form so a holiday that involves architectural sites such as Roman ruins would be of interest. Whatever holiday she takes it is likely that at least part of the time she would choose to unwind by getting away from her busy life and spending some time on her own to discover her inner peace.

Rosie

A Rosie Outlook

This second sample of handwriting at first glance appears to be in stark contrast to the first as the script is larger, more crowded and more vertically written.

The writer is most definitely a people person and would enjoy all activities that entail being with groups. She is communicative and extrovert and gains most from travelling with companions. She loves to express her feelings and is likely to be a keen record keeper during her holidays whether through avid photography or writing.

Her reactions and thoughts can be erratic and she is easily bored therefore likely to opt for multi sensory vacations, taking in several locations on one trip. She seeks all types of fun and pleasure and is certainly open to interesting ideas and suggestions. A deep capacity for enjoyment, she will make the most of any situation even when she is far from the lap of luxury.

Despite possessing a strong willpower and at times stubborn streak, she comes into her own during an emergency. Her outward persona of party animal masks good leadership ability and a cool head in a crisis.

Laura

Er, six out of ten

This writer is often in a dilemma when it comes to travel and holidays because she is both practical and realistic but also yearns for experiences that indulge her fantasy world. Her writing is vertical and legible but the balloon like loops on her tall letters suggest that she has an active imagination and so holidays are likely to be well planned and interesting journeys.

There is a great sense of humour and a desire to entertain as well as be entertained so it is likely to be important for her to undertake group holidays and in fact she may enjoy a theme based vacation.

The writer prefers change and variety to routine and so is unlikely to have the same holiday destination each year. She enjoys preparation and is a good organiser and would be meticulous when planning a trip.

She talks of childhood holidays and the long and deep swinging loops on her 'g's and 'y's suggest strong links to the mother figure and holidays are likely to evoke memories. Holidays may be expensive because there are indications that she enjoys materialism and a certain amount of luxury even when away from home!

Interesting results. While Rosie is clearly a blogger through and through, recording everyday life and daily adventures through the lens or her keyboard it's obvious travelling is an intrinsic part of Kelly's life, as she seeks new experiences. I can vouch for having an active imagination and needing a change every now and then, and who doesn't like a little bit of luxury! Unbelievably, my mother is the Italian one who would take the lead on childhood holidays, so it's amazing that's possible to detect in my handwriting.

All in all, it's been such a fun way to find those characteristics that makes travellers tick. Whether we're all the same or all different, who knows. But one thing's for sure, we all love an adventure!

Interested? Read on...