Are you guilty of a 'some people' status?

Monday 3 March 2014









Each one of these tweets has two words in common. And each one of these tweets is talking about someone. So specific they are, you could replace 'some people' with the intended recipient's name, jiggle around the syntax a bit, and it would make perfect sense.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram... they're all taking passive aggression to the next level. Where twenty years ago we'd have left things like this go, or maybe had a bit of a bitch and natter with a friend next time we saw them, or tutted in line when someone pushed in, social media gives us the opportunity to comment on any situation at any given moment.



And we've all done it. We've all been annoyed by someone, irked by their actions, or just wondered incredulously at their attitude. Rather than confront the person or SHOCK HORROR tag/name them, we critically half-describe the situation in order to vent, but leave out their name.

We asked psychotherapist, Alex Wedlock, to talk to us about the rise of 'some people', and why it's potentially damaging our mental heath and confrontational skills.

"A friend of mine refers to Facebook as 'Faceless'. It gives us a way to express ourselves vaguely and without perhaps addressing the real issue," Alex says. After all, it's far easier to write a few paragraphs and rant about something than to sit and consider why we're feeling that way. Are we offended? Jealous? Hurt? Angry? Who cares, right?! "Typing out a status is more passive than confronting the person who may have elicited the feeling within us in the first place and talking it through with the potential of resolution."

"The danger in the trend, I would say, could be that we don't actually reach any kind of conclusion or outcome, or even understanding, of what we are feeling. It's left unexplored and often poorly expressed on a social media page where it will be history within minutes!"



Alex goes on to describe how this passive aggressive behaviour tends to keep us in a persistent 'status quo'

"Someone preferring to rant on twitter will continue to be passive when required to make decisions, and will tend to leap into aggression when challenged in any way." The result is that we avoid conflict and maintain our 'default' position. Nothing changes, nothing is addressed. It may also lead to the beginning of a friendship ending.

Having been a writer of 'some people' tweets in the past, I know how it can feel. A person has wound you up. There's no one to talk about it instantly, and it seems far too trivial to bring up with the annoyer. So a quick few words jotted down almost helps the situation by allowing those feelings to get out in some way. But Alex worries that, although there is a temporary short time feeling of relief, avoiding the issue is only making the situation worse. Far better to confront and deal with someone else's flaws, than create one of our own.

So how should we react when we see someone being a bit pathetic with their cryptic, passive aggressive tweeting?

"We can either pay attention and engage with it," Alex says, "or assume it is vague because it's unimportant! This is where the concept of being in an 'adult' state comes in. If we apply an adult outlook to the world, we would not necessarily respond to a childlike comment from another adult, but rather, see it for what it is...a childlike expression of something which could better be dealt with in an 'adult' mode!"

So, the choice is yours. If you're tweeting 'some people' a bit too often, perhaps it's good to sit down and think about why you're avoiding actually addressing the issue, or why you have such a need to publicly show your childlike side.

Have you been guilty of passive aggressive tweeting? Or is a friend on Facebook a notorious 'some people' fiend? Let us know your thoughts below!

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